WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
I
fold.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Visually, this would work
better if he was doubled over in a fetal position. Still, this may
be how people who play poker with no cards or chips raise the stakes.
It may also be a metaphor or the futility of man's existence.)
SECOND
PLACE
"Maybe
some boxes shouldn't be thought outside of."--Steve_O
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Expectations are like asses: Everyone has one, some
bigger than others. )
THIRD
PLACE
"Not
exactly an Algonquin
Round Table,
but it'll have to do."--Kathy
H JUDGE'S COMMENT:
References a conclave of smart, witty writers and artists who
regularly gathered to drink and complain at the Algonquin
Hotel near Times Sq. A knew a guy who tended bar there and he would
let me drink for free. Closest I came.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"I
know what you’re thinking: 'Did he see six mice or only five?'
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda
lost track myself. But being that this is the most powerful
corporation in the world, and could blow your careers to Hell if this
goes viral, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: 'Does he get
the promotion?' Well, do I, assholes?--Anonymous (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Of course, we always give props to Clint. Still, this is a
reach and it also trivializes a great movie line. Those prone to leap
on a chair at the sight of a mouse will do so whether there is one or six. Don't ask me how I know this.)
34 comments:
"Whose ass do you have to kiss around here to get a raise?"
"EXCUSE ME! If we are discussing the continuing marginalization of white males, I want a seat on the table."
"So, we all agree to table the matter."
"I suggest you get the hell out of here by ten 'cause the sphinx will be dropping in."
"Knock it up, you two."
"I am not upskirting you- it's more like straightskirting."
"...97..98..99..100. Okay! Ready or not, here I come."
"C'mon. Just because I can't prove that I'm not a robot, you guys won't let me up there??"
"Do you really think that the water main break will make up to the 45th floor?"
"I see you've escalated the issue."
"Not exactly an Algonquin Round Table, but it'll have to do."
"Hey! The reservation was for 'Open Table'!"
Your argument does have a certain circular logic.
"So this was the white guy's idea, after they fired the black guy?"
When I asked if you all want to get high, I meant by using illegal hard drugs.
Somehow the Chinese acrobats were a lot more impressive.
Are the drugs working yet?
I fold.
I don't know. I thought that a human lazy Susan would have more of a wow factor.
"I see we've been shopping at 'Overstock.com'!"
"It's like watching dry paint."
It's OK. You figured it out. My farts ARE heavier than air.
"I trust you three dipshits realize you're as high as you will ever get in this company."
"I know what you’re thinking: 'Did he see six mice or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being that this is the most powerful corporation in the world, and could blow your careers to Hell if this goes viral, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: 'Does he get the promotion?' Well, do I, assholes?
"Stop goofing around on the table and turn your attention to the big screen. We've got some serious Tetris to deal with here."
"OK, I think we've practiced enough. Let's go in there and show them how a leveraged buyout is done."
As you are, technically, no longer on US soil, divert every penny in profits to our offshore account.
"You're right- it does suck to be short."
"So how do we do the rest of Beethoven's Fifth? Never thought that far, huh?"
"Look, I just couldn't hold it any longer. But it's not as if I'm flooding the place, OK wise guys?"
"Did I miss a memo?"
"Maybe some boxes shouldn't be thought outside of."
I can assure you, the flooring is gluten free.
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