WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"It
was the black guy's idea"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: There may or may not be a black guy swayin' to the rhythm,
but this works because blame-the-black-guy is a well established
strategy. )
SECOND
PLACE
"I
move we approve the minuets."--Greenie Stik-M-Caps (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: One of the best puns ever seen in this contest which, we can
all agree, is like being the tallest midget or the least smelly dung
heap.)
THIRD
PLACE
"Well,
Obama promised cha-cha-cha-change."--Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT:
Barry don't dance. Barry don't have to dance. Six years later this
still engenders contempt among many Americans.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"All
the guys are pretending to be Deney Terrio and all the girls are
pretending to be Motion."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Leave
it to Kathy Link-a-lot to drum up an obscure reference that creates
an awkward silence followed by a polite chuckle. That IS what you
were shooting for—right? )
"Hey
Al, if the anti cap is such a drag, how about a quick comment on my
boogaloo?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The
amateurish gyrations of your profoundly unappealing derrière recall
the gruesome spectacle of two frightened piglets frantically
scurrying to escape a cauldron of boiling water. If there is one
redeeming factor to be salvaged from this grotesque display, it is
that there were, thankfully, no black people around to see it.)
"It's
always cause for celebration when al judges a contest."--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Celebrate the joy you bring to complete
strangers who give not one shit about you, my anonymous friend.)
RIP,
Tom Magliozzi, who's laugh brought the world to it's rightful
humorous knees.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So it's Saturday
morning and I'm trying to tune in a station on the kitchen radio. I
have don't have much time because I got stuff on the burner. Every
thing is static but I finally get NPR. Fine, I'm thinking, I can
always listen to NPR. But then as I move toward the stove and resume
cooking I realize what I'm listening to is “Car Talk.” This
annoyed me. I actually took a second to wonder who the fuck would
listen to a radio show discussing car repairs and why the fuck does
NPR insist on airing this crap. It was probably the only time I ever
gave “Car Talk” more than five seconds worth or thought. I
mention this because, out of curiosity, I Googled “Tom Magliozzi.”
Turns out he was one of those “Car Talk” geeks. He died. Kind of
a spooky, is all I'm saying.)
28 comments:
Our fitbits went off simultaneously.
"What?"
"Well, Obama promised cha-cha-cha-change."
"BONUS!!! ... IHOP CORP ... COME ON!"
"Hostile Takeover ... We're doing the 'Breakdance'!"
"You said you wanted 'To Table the Motion'!"
"Sorry, Bill, but the fire department said just six dancers at a time on the table."
Welcome to "Elevated Dance Floor, Inc.".
This is a party planning company, Jim. We need to test the product.
"All the guys are pretending to be Deney Terrio and all the girls are pretending to be Motion."
"It was the black guy's idea"
"What's your problem? We took off our shoes."
"Do a little bit of this, do a little bit of that, and shake your bum just like your mum"
"Cast your dancing spell my way. I promise to go under it."
"I felt sorry for myself for I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no balls."
"I can't help it. I'm a dancer who dances dances!"
"I move we approve the minuets."
Come on, let's twist again,
Like we did last summer!
Yeaaah, let's twist again,
Like we did last year!
"Hey, c'mon, haven't you ever danced to 'Desolation Row'?"
"Hey Al, if the anti cap is such a drag, how about a quick comment on my boogaloo?"
"It's always cause for celebration when al judges a contest."
"I know its four guys and two gals, but have you met Phil and Ron from Accounting?"
It's a pre-marketing session for the Cayenne Undies account.
"That was your face?!?"
"Baby got back."
"Loosen up, Mitt...oh, and please don't run again."
Jim Cavanaugh
"With the GOP in power all our problems can be solved with murder and/or mayhem."
RIP, Tom Magliozzi, who's laugh brought the world to it's rightful humorous knees.
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