WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"Other
than I wish I were taller, my place is a sty and my wife has a slot,
no complaints."--Shelly
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A skillful blend of Seinfeld humor with a
ridiculously tacky, yet irrefutably logical pun. The episode in
question centered on a cartoon that had a pig complaining to a retail
clerk. It has enduring appeal to anti-cappers. Shelly, I was just
thinking, would be a good name a cartoon crustacean. )
SECOND
PLACE
"It's
the only Jewproof way I can think of to protect my coin."--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nothing like a good old fashion jew joke to get
everyone laughing. You see, they have an insatiable appetite for
money, but they are repulsed by pork. This stuff writes itself! We are also reminded that that pigs are
antisemitic AND security conscious. Noted.)
THIRD
PLACE
Some
animals are more equal than others.--boneguy
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This seems to fit. Can't even really say why.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"What
he need's a damn good whacking."--NJ-to-TX
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Such is the enduring power of the Fab Four. Best line:
“Everywhere
there's lots of piggies Living piggy lives.)
"The
oinkers here are extreme."
--Jim Cavanaugh
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A reach...but like a pig trying to roller skate or
republicans trying get black and Latinos to vote for them, the
effort is entertaining even if the result is predictable.)
You
know what our tails look like? Fusili, you crazy bastard!--LR
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Much better. Here we see the successful
extension of a classic cap...a new twist, one might even say.)
"I
would call us Click and Clack, but that would just set Al off
again."--Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nothing much sets me off
these days but captions I don't get gnaw at me.)
Right,
Dex. al doesn't know tappet from topiary...Anonymous (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Entered exactly 47 minutes AFTER the previous cap. My reply
remains a blank stare and eagerness to push on.)
45 comments:
Stay on this side. He always gets bailed out first.
"He puts all his money in pork bellies."
"I heard that he banks online."
"I'm sorry, but all my money's in the Long Branch Branch of the Red Bank Bank."
He's still alive because instead of coins he puts sliced salami in there.
Some animals are more equal than others.
"I understand that he's in line for the CFO slot."
"The devourers here are porcine."
"Now that's what I call making bacon!"
"He only accepts 'Pork Barrel Bills'!"
"What he need's a damn good whacking."
"Pssst ... I saw him double-dip with his wiener"!
For whatever reason, he's Timothy Geithner's favorite pig.
"No Mr. Bond. I expect you to live in a sty."
She hasn't been the same since her cashectomy.
"The oinkers here are extreme."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Oh I wish I were Anthony Weiner,
That is whom I'd truly like to be.
'Cause if I were Anthony Weiner,
Everyone would be sexting me."
"My bologna has a first name, it's B-A-R-A-K.
My bologna has a second name, it's O-B-A-M-A.
Oh, I love what's inside that piggy,
Even if the hours are obscene...
"Cause Barack Obama did promise C-H-A-N-G-'n-E."
"It's the only Jewproof way I can think of to protect my coin."
"I would call us Click and Clack, but that would just set Al off again."
Right, Dex. al doesn't know tappet from topiary...
"Where do they get the term 'baby backs'?"
Porksie Webber says:
Nobody knows the trough-fulls I've seen
Nobody knows my sow roll!
"That's how the newly elected Congress wants the middle class to save. Watch your back."
"Other than I wish I were taller, my place is a sty and my wife has a slot, no complaints."
"We call him Sloppy Slotty."
"It's Miss Piggy disguised as B of A ... I hear she still has a frog stuck in her throat!"
"I hear she's bankrolling a new airline ... 'Swine Flew'!"
"He gets paid hourly. I hear his hours are porcine."
"No slop for me, I keep kosher."
"From this angle it kinda looks like Kim K's ass pic."
Jim Cavanaugh
"This little piggy believes in equal distribution of wealth. You in?"
"That boy is a P-I-G pic!."
"The farmer brought along a couple of piglets. He says he hopes you don't mind."
"I hear he's too big to fail."
I'd be ecstatic too if every time I took a dump, my net worth went up.
"Look closer. He's not a bank. He's a one-slice toaster."
"In his case, it's sloppy firsts."
"He's saving for that operation to become a sow. Bible say's he'll go to hell for it, too."
"The rain makes him drink."
"The sow's ear is a silk purse now."
"I'll see you later. Gotta fly."
"So that's where baby back ribs come from."
“Clickity Clank, 50 Cent’s moving up-trough.”
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