New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #453

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WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"As a toreador, are you more a fan of Aaron Spelling or do you adore Tori?"--Shelly (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The courage it must have taken to post this. Actually it was among a batch of three caps lauched with one thunderous entry. Let me once again point out that entries with multiple caps are seldom worthwhile. Luckily the pratice has been on the wane. The word play here is either from someone trying to be obnoxious or clever. Hard to say. A narcarist with delustionary tendencies, most likely. As for the question poised: Why does it have to be an either/or type of thing?)

SECOND PLACE

I'll guarantee you the one eliminated ISN'T getting interviewed on TV tomorrow.--gfwrite (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bizzaro world DWTS that hints at bestiality but concludes with one of the dancers being slaughtered. A death by mambo type of thing. Sounds good! [Fox are you listening?] But who is doing the talking? When the dance is over, wouldn't it be awkward to have a person, or even worse a bull, put down on national TV? Asks more questions than it answers but the effort is there. )

THIRD PLACE

"I'll steer."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A painful pun from a reliable yet temperamental anti-capper. It took an eerie turn 11 hours later when the next cap, posted by every one's favorite anti-capper, Anonymous, said "Jew follow." As in "I'll steer, Jew follow." Funny, no? The part two is a bit more edgy, but was it over the line? Whether NJ-to-TX will take umbrage remains to be seen. Stay tuned.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Pasodoble, you crazy bastard, how are you?--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Who know what? I have no idea what Pasodole means and I don't care. If it is good enough for Johonny B...)

"The Horas here are obscene."
-- Pi Ling Ahn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If it is good enough for Pi... )

I, too, was disappointed with your honoring of the anti-Semitic caption for the pigs-at-the-trough cartoon and your subsequent failure to apologize. Sometimes it's best to say "I made a mistake" and move on. -- Satire guy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It is touching to know your judge is revered by anti-cappers as a trusted and benevolent man of good faith and cheer to all, no matter their race creed or sexual shenanigans. Sure. Noted. But it's been said that Jews only love free speech because it's free. Mazel tov and  l'chaim, my sensitive friend.)

"It's good there aren't any Camel Jockeys, Frogs, Oreos, Uncle Toms, Kykes, Spics, Guidos, Squaws, Nips, Degos, Coons, Krauts, Redskins, Chinks, or Towelheads here to see this. Wait...did I say Spics?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes...You did. But you also screwed the pooch. The original classic anti-cap line is, “It's a good thing there are no black people around to see this.” Far from being racist, it is a commentary on how blacks are rarely seen in NYer cartoons. It suggests that the image is so lame it's a good thing it's not being inflicted on the very group being systematically excluded. But since the anti-cap unleashed all those naughty words it is being “honored” here. The blow back be damned.)