WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
We're
going to need a bigger cat.--boneguy
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is just eerie. The cartoon that follows this has a huge
cat leering into a window. Clearly boneguy had no way of knowing that when he
posted this entry. The Jaws reference is a little lame but not
unimaginative. It's just impressive that boneguy conjured up a bigger
cat.)
SECOND
PLACE
"Let's
feed 'em those two guys in that fish bowl."--Tim H
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A statement on the human condition. Some people
have two fish tanks: One for the fish they like and another for
smaller fish that get fed the ones they like. I always found that creepy.)
THIRD PLACE
"Keep
smiling and don't break eye contact."
[Woman
slowly backs into house and shuts door. Sound of ruffling feathers
and screaming.]--reid
savid (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The narrative description in brackets sells
this one. It demonstrates sophistication and effort. Important
qualities that are not inter-changeable.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"Oh,
honey, art's imitating life; a Nuthatch and a Red-cockaded Woodpecker
have found their way into your asshole again."--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A somewhat baffling reach-back, this is the Second
Place winner for a Radosh-judged contest posted on May 10, 2010. I
found all that out because I was compelled to Google: “Nuthatch
and a Red-cockaded Woodpecke.” The question then, as now: How
is that funny?)
"The
devourers around here are avian."--Kathy
H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bit of a reach, but Kathy comes through with a
caption classic. Uses two words we almost never hear. )
"Godfather,
Schmodfather!
Remind me to call alinla and tell him that Abe Vigoda also starred in
the sitcom Fish."--Anonymouse
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: I'm proud of the fact that I didn't know that. I believe an
artist should be most closely associated with his best work, which, incidentally, is why I do not use my full name here. I though about including my actual phone number to see if anyone would actually call me, but then I thought, What if someone actually did? )
50 comments:
"Let's see the Joneses top that!"
"The devourers around here are avian."
"Let's feed 'em those two guys in that fish bowl."
Looks like someone found Mark McGwire's
secret stash.
"I see the pecker enlargement therapy was a success."
"Keep smiling and don't break eye contact."
[Woman slowly backs into house and shuts door. Sound of ruffling feathers and screaming.]
"Screw GMO, fry 'em up!"
I'm going to need a bigger gun.
"The're 'Red Breasted Mattress Thrashers' ... Just flew in from Zone 51!"
We're going to need a bigger cat.
"'OH MY GOD' ... 'FOSTER IMPOSTER CHICKENS" ... Splains the '67 Plymouth Belvedere in the driveway!!!"
I always thought the Ravens were juicing.
"Ever wonder if we had kids what they'd look like??"
"Hey Uncle Fester, keep your eyes on the feeder and off her cloaca!"
"Whad'ya think of my couscous last night?"
"Oh, honey, art's imitating life; a Nuthatch and a Red-cockaded Woodpecker have found their way into your asshole again."
WTF! An educated person with writing skills just entered the contest.
Reminds me. Did you take your flyagra or whatever it is?
Not what I had in mind when I rubbed the genie's lantern, but it's understandable. Huge peckers aren't they?
"Nice, Frank, but I really miss some of those blackbirds back in the ghetto."
That reminds me, when are you going to take care of the four pound roach in the kitchen?
"Paging Tippy Hedren."
"Hon, it's at times like these when I don't mind being 3 inches tall."
"Here's the deal ... Either you get more birdseed ... Or I'm calling Dick Cheney!"
"I think it's time to cut back on the growth hormones in the birdseed."
"OK but you clean the lawn."
"What's next—Cookie Monsters?"
"Time to call, 'Angie's List'!"
“The shading seems wrong, like they were added by another artist or at a different time".
"Sorry about your windshield."
"No Morris. I did NOT say I wanted a big chick to cluck."
"I said I want a cock that goes off without a hitch. Do you hear anything I say?"
"That's the second time this week that a large migrant group has fertilized the lawn."
"Are there any vets the murder hasn't murdered yet?"
Just like the commercial said, "It's gro time!"
"Who knew they would take such a liking to strands of your hair as nesting material."
"I'd rather have the squirrels back."
"I'm dreading the day they become fully grown, and develop a taste for meat. That book they all flock around, 'How to Serve Man'...it's a COOKBOOK!"
"I hope that when I'm on Jeopardy! next week one of the categories is Big Birds."
"Godfather, Schmodfather! Remind me to call alinla and tell him that Abe Vigoda also starred in the sitcom Fish."
"Being small and Mongoloid, does have it's disadvantages!"
"A bird in the bush is worth two in the hands, George."
"You know they won't fit in the oven."
What did you think a turkducken looks like before it's butchered?
No, Mr. Bird, I expect you to fly.
I just want to know if you see them too ... and what was in that joint you gave me, JohnnyB?
Don't worry about a t'ing,
'Cause every little t'ing gonna be all right.
I got a bird that whistles
I got a bird that sings
And one that wobbles as she flies.
It's cuckoo, Corrina.
"Luca Brasi sleeps with the finches."
Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor enjoy their retirement in Bodega Bay.
"Mr. Marley's three little birds done growed up."
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