WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"The
irony is that I have never actually seen a fish bowl."--Tim H
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Stupid, but in a thoughtful way. Absurd, yet somehow
rational. Brings to mind that whole “you can tune a piano but you
can't tuna fish” thing. Most important, it took a second or two for
me to get this. That much I appreciate.)
SECOND
PLACE
Don-bub
plee imbuh plool--JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was posted three minutes after J.B. entered
the rather bland cap: “Oh
my god, did you just pee in the bowl?” It's as though he sat for a
second, took bong hit and said (to himself as he exhaled): “You
know what would be even funnier? If, like, the guys where talking
under water. Fuck yeah! How can that NOT win?” Interestingly, the
under water version does not include the “Oh my god” part. Maybe
it just doesn't translate well. Blice blurk, J.B.)
THIRD
PLACE
"I
wonder how Abe Vigoda's doing?"--Tim
H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure it's obscure, but why would these too guys
care? Also Abe Vigoda wasn't sent to sleep with the fishes in GF I,
it was the character he played, Salvatore Tessio. Like a dead
maestro, he's decomposing nicely.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"The
hours here are aquamarine."--Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT:
Aquamarine is a light bluish-green color which would most
likely NOT be evident in a fish bowl. Still, I have a fondness for
the classics.)
I
brought a couple of minnows, do you mind?--JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This works because, apart from being fish, a
“minnow” can refer to “a person
of relatively small size, power, or influence.” You know, like an
Anti-Cap judge.)
"Man,
I could go for a Nutty
Salmon
just about now."--Kathy
H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: At first I thought this was just an insensitive
description of fish suffering from mental illness. Luckily, Kathy
offered a link. The cap actually references a five-year old post on J.B.'s blog
explaining a method for grilling fish. [Best line: “I
rubbed a little olive oil on it...”] Once
again Kathy's proves that her link-obsession is not without merit. Even so, Anti-Cap scholars will be justifiably outraged. Kathy previously included this link and I, of course, responded with the same lame joke. )
35 comments:
God I hate sushi Thursdays.
"Look away ... I feel a bowl movement coming on!"
Floor to ceiling windows! Floor to ceiling windows! Are you happy now?
"I'm tired of listening to your bowlshit."
"The hours here are aquamarine."
"I have this eerie feeling, about being flushed down the toilet!"
Did you get a haircut?
"I feel like my memory is about three seconds ... I feel like my memory is about three seconds .... I feel like my memory is about three seconds."
"I hear that new receptionist likes it belly up."
"Hey, check this out ... Wife stabs husband with a 'Squirrel' ... Yeah, got him right in the nuts!"
"I wonder how Abe Vigoda's doing?"
One minute I'm at a school carnival and then I get stuffed in a plastic bag and dumped out here.
I brought a couple of minnows, do you mind?
"I have to take a dump again."
"They could have given us some fucking gravel."
What rhymes with lost souls?
"Man, I could go for a Nutty Salmon just about now."
You smell like trout.
The whole thing is fishy.
"There are two things that taste like fish, and one of them is fish."
"I'm really not happy working in a metaphor."
"At least we don't have to worry about that glass ceiling thing the chicks are always bitchin' about…Did you take my stapler?"
Oh my god, did you just pee in the bowl?
Don-bub plee imbuh plool
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...year after year."
"Don't ask me. Look it up on Gurgle."
Jim Cavanaugh
"The irony is that I have never actually seen a fish bowl."
I don't know about you, but I'm drowning at work.
"According to this note, the last occupant, was a Mr. Morris Goldfinch ... It reads ... 'I finally made it to the top, but I was Dead'!"
"I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I think we are eating way too much."
"People who work in glass bowls shouldn't get stoned."
"You're hungry and you have to go? In here that's called recycling."
"One of us will slowly float to the top."
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