WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
"Bob and I are
plotting to kill P.C. Vey. You in?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Aside from the obvious reference to Bob Dylan, this wins
because I share the author's distain for P.C. Vey. It's about time
someone said what everyone was thinking.)
SECOND PLACE
"Did you slip me a
Roofie? I'm feeling light-headed."--Ahole McAvoy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Pretty decent, pun-wise, because there is, evidently, a
light affixed to his head. Extra credit for the anti-capper's first
name.)
THIRD PLACE
Nice tits, Al.--JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: The link take us to a YouTube video that
includes “AL in LA” in the headline. The “tits” part, I don't
even want to go into. After reappearing to a warm reception, it was
inevitable that Johnny would wear out his welcome.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Howdy, name's John
Thomas."--Obligatory Dylan (JUDGE'S COMMENT: References a
bleak 1964 Dylan song about the sad life of coal miners, "North
Country Blues." It is the only Dylan song where the narrator is
a woman. She marries a guy named John Thomas who apparently would go
on to attend a cocktail party with his miner's light still in place.
More obscure than obligatory. Then as now, it is pointless to try
and out-Dylan me.)
I do love that Dylan guy,
my favorite being "One Headlight".--boneguy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A different kind of obscure. This references Jakob Dylan's
great song “One Head Light.” Fun fact: Jakob toiled in obscurity
until people found out his dad was THAT Dylan.)
"The cocktail hours
here are obscene."--james (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Great twist
on an anti-cap classic. Nice job james—I also like the lower case
letter. )
"I can hear the coins
jingling in your pocket, Bob--well, Obama did promise change."--Dex
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yet another reference to Bob Dylan and a
semi-classic. Fair enough.)
JohnnyB makes a cameo
appearance and suddenly all the other anti-cap ledgends come out of
the woodwork. They may not have been capping, but they were quietly
observing...like the martians in War of the Worlds.--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure. I guess. One of the most baffling
aspects is this little blog is that it typically gets over 100 hits
each day. [Go figure.] Often I am not one of them, but it does keep
me engaged.)
39 comments:
"I can hear the coins jingling in your pocket, Bob--well, Obama did promise change."
"The cocktail hours here are obscene."
"I record all my cocktail parties, especially if they include a black metrosexual playing pocket pool."
"Bob's reaching for his scratch ticket."
Repping for Petzl means going all in.
I'd like to go spelunking in your lady cave. Benny just wants to watch.
"Did you slip me a Roofie? I'm feeling light-headed."
Speaking of 'headlights', your highbeams look pretty cute there, little missy.
"Howdy, name's John Thomas."
"Is it true that men will say anything to get laid off? D'ya see what I did there?"
"Hey Sumguy, do you think she's into threesomes?"
"I don't know, Alaska."
"No, you're thinking of the GoPro Hero. This model is the GoSlo Loser."
"I'm a locksmith, and I see you're wearing a chastity belt."
"Let's get out of this cartoon and go over to Danny's for some real laughs."
I do love that Dylan guy, my favorite being "One Headlight".
"And that's Mike over there of Mike's Hard uhhhh..whatever."
"One of the painting's looks just like Jerry Lee Lewis ... You know ... 'Great Balls of Fire'!"
"These Google Glasses are Great! ... So far I've spotted 4 Boners ... Incuding yours ... Anonymous bone guy!"
"More like Art Drecko ... And look ... Whose got a 'Whole Lotta Shakin Goin' On'!"
"Obama promised suits without ties - that symbol of Western decadence."
"Wanna see my stalagmite?"
"Come back to my hotel and I'll show you my 12-inch pianist."
"I'm not a doctor, but I play one in my saucy web series. You guys interested?"
"Hi, I'm Jay, Peg."
"I'd like to get your narrow cunt down."
"The Mets drafted our son. He's going to go pro too."
At 2 a.m. even a gal drawn by Vey starts looking good.
"I'm guessing that's a Rubik's Cube in your pocket ... The more you play with it ... The harder it gets!"
I've got a headlamp. After I give your pharynx the all clear, maybe we could play some tonsil hockey?
JohnnyB makes a cameo appearance and suddenly all the other anti-cap ledgends come out of the woodwork. They may not have been capping, but they were quietly observing...like the martians in War of the Worlds.
"It's from Google but I have no idea what it does."
They call me Tripod.
''I record all my social interactions and look for ways to be less awkward.''
"Opening Lines runs through June 15th."
"I just watched some of your old porn from the 70's. They should call this thing Google Ass."
"Richard's a terrible lover ... He's about to have an anti-climax!"
"Percy here is a presiding judge ... What we are about to witness ... Is a 'Honourable Discharge'!"
"I'm going to call it MuseumHub."
"Can I offer you a light?"
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