WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"Well
why not. It's not much different than how social security works.”
--james
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Biting social commentary with a germ of truth.
Every politician knows better than to screw with Soc. Sec. And even
geezers who want the government out of their lives want their damn
check. This reflects a mind-set that, hopefully doesn't take hold.)
SECOND
PLACE
"Don't
worry, honey. He's a 'good guy with a gun.'"--Anonymouse
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Topical—but also a little wimpy. Hate to sound
like a gun-nut, but let's say you encountered some drunken asshole
Dodger fans in the parking lot, and they wanted to fuck with you because
you had the audacity to wear your Mets jersey to Dodger Stadium?
Won't it be nice to go all Bernard Getz on their asses? Just sayin')
THIRD
PLACE
"Hey,
I recognize this guy! He's an old comedian from the Catskills! So, I
guess this is a schtick-up!"--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT:
In Anti-Cap land, the only thing that can stop someone from coming in
third with a bad pun, is someone coming in third with a good pun.
Thank you Kathy. You have certainly earned turd place.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"It's
probably drug-related."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Maybe
this is a reach, but pg13 appears to be making a statement about the
inevitable issues that will arise as stoners reach their golden
years.)
"He's
not messing around. He's fluent in Ebonics."--pg13
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Maybe this is a reach but pg13 appears to be
making a racist slur. It is, however, tasteless and mean and hence
bad enough to merit a mention.)
"I
thought he said the first blowjob was free."--(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Almost the winner. It does look like this is exactly what
the guy reaching for his wallet is saying and, yes, the old gal
behind the gunman looks like she's ready for business. [If you have
issues, just close your eyes and pretend it's Angela Lansbury.]
Still , the gun makes no sense here. If the guy is unwilling to pay-up or at
least take her out to dinner...well I think we all know how it works.
Still, pretty good.)
"That
a Magnum 44K, the most powerful retirement plan in the world."--Dirty
Old Harry (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A plausible Plan B for those who
have no pension. Also, I'm a big Clint Eastwood fan and this cap
left out the word “is,” which is something I always do. So...)
"Don't
worry, it's loaded with anti-caps."--pg13
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: No, they won't kill you, but if you get hit with
enough of them at once, you'll wish they did.)
36 comments:
"Well why not. It's not much different than how social security works. "
My dad read that an armed robbery expends the calorie equivalent of a really tough spin class.
"Things could get ugly. They're probably high on Metamucil."
"Don't worry, honey. He's a ' good guy with a gun.'"
I wonder who they got to drive the getaway scooter?
"C-mon, Christine. You agreed to go Dutch."
"It's probably drug-related."
"I told you we shouldn't walk the streets on bingo night."
"He's not messing around. He's fluent in Ebonics."
"Do what he says or you're gonna get popped."
"Welcome to the Florida Panhandle."
"I'll give 'em my wallet, but I'll be damned if I give 'em one penny of my Sandy money!"
I'm the one being held up and the guy with the gun shats in his pants!
"A classic case of poor retirement planning."
"Hey, I recognize this guy! He's an old comedian from the Catskills! So, I guess this is a schtick-up!"
"I wish I had removed all of my white-face clown makeup after getting off Dominatrix Island and before being mugged by Concealed Cary and his moll."
"That a Magnum 44K, the most powerful retirement plan in the world."
"Don't worry, it's loaded with anti-caps."
I can't take a chance he AND his little friend are shooting blanks.
Clyde and Bonnie here need money for their co-pay.
I gotta say, the gun IS more persuasive than just asking.
Ha! My Econ. prof. from NYU.
Marge, this is my Mom and Dad. They're 47%ers.
He said he needs some cash for bullets.
I guess AARP stands for Ancient Assholes Robbing People.
"Relax honey. Guns don't kill people."
Jim Cavanaugh
"I told you mom and dad would hold us up."
"I've adopted a new philosophy- 'Who am I to judge?'"
"I thought he said the first blowjob was free."
"Stand your ground honey, this'll only take a second."
"I told you dad wouldn't let us take away his driving privileges."
"Don't worry, I'll just give him a dollar and they'll think it's a lot of money."
"I rest my case.Old people are the pits."
"Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
"I had heard that Madeoff escaped and was starting over".
Don't worry, I only gave them the PIN to my online checking account.
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