WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"Well,
this explains the asshole living in our basement."--Rich
Lather (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If the
head is in the front lawn, how can the butt be in the basement. This
is illogical but still good enough to win.)
SECOND
PLACE
"Shit,
it's time to moai the lawn again."--NJ-to-TX
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Don't
forget to bring your sledge trimmers. [Because you use a sledge
hammer to break up rocks—see I still got it.])
THIRD
PLACE
I
forget, dear. Is it the Macy's Easter Day Parade?--boneguy
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Our
first caption to ever mention Macy's. Was there just today. They
start Christmas displays on Nov. 1. That kind of thing no longer
bothers me.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"All
I can say is that the priest wore black on the seventh day and sat
stone-faced while the building burned."--Tim H (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: From the amzing Dylan song “Idiot Wind.” The first line
say “Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the
press.” I love that song.)
"Life
is a bust"--O. D. (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: More Dylan. All you can do is do what you must, he says.)
"But
I would not feel so all alone...everybody must get stoned."--pg13
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Get stoned is
often a solution if you don't want to recall the problem. Yes, it's
Dylan )
"Al
in L.A., lay across my big grass bed."--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Okay, let's say I do.
Then what happens?)
"If
Al doesn't judge us soon, we're going to fall off the first
page!"--Satireguy
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Deal with it. There
are worst thing in life than not being judged. )
"Mussolini,
you crazy bastard! How are you?!"--Anonymouse (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Couldn't let this one go unnoticed. Consideer it noticed.)
60 comments:
"Remember when dad ordered his own headstone before he died?"
"There goes the neighborhood."
"Curb appeal? Helen—I can't even find the fucking curb!"
"There's another Daniel Day Lewis monument in the yard."
"Busted!"
"Honey, did we sign up for 'Obamacare'?"
"Honey, remind me never to open these curtains again."
"Honey, I think your thingy from eBay just arrived."
"That's funny. He was facing the other way last night. Hmmmm."
I forget, dear. Is it the Macy's Easter Day Parade?
"Well ... This explains my missing bottle of 'Head & Shoulders!"
Because of your "exquisite taste", we can't have a gopher problem like everybody else?
"Honey, you know how I keep asking for more head?"
"This sculpted lawn ordinance has got to go."
"The Romney's St. Bernard crapped on our grass again."
"Shit, it's time to moai the lawn again."
"That might explain the cannon that sprouted in the back yard last week."
"I don't know much about art, but I know what I don't like."
"Looks like Edward Hammerandchiselhands has been at it again."
"I like the cut of his jib."
"All I can say is that the priest wore black on the seventh day and sat stone-faced while the building burned."
"Why the lawn face, honey?"
Jim Cavanaugh
Someone's gotten creative with the Great Dane's crap again.
"Life is a bust"
"ITS HIM ... 'Saint Andreas Basalt'!"
"Don't worry, Honey. Looks like George Zimmerman is about to open fire."
"Well, Obama promised .... Obama"
"Honey? Did we rent out our front yard to Annie Leibovitz for a Vanity Fare cover shoot?"
"But I would not feel so all alone...everybody must get stoned."
"You'll have to lick yourself, honey. This bust is more satisfying."
"Yeah, on the lawn. Never mind that - why the hell did you buy this ugly milk lamp?"
Let's just say it's a great relief when Grace Jones Week is finally over.
Waxing [wak-sing]
the art or practice of clipping bushes into ornamental shapes.
"Do we have jewels and binoculars to hang from the head?"
Now I see what you meant by 'our landscaper is a chiseler.'
Harvey struggles to appreciate the gift from "The Most Interesting Man in the World."
Steve once again regrets choosing the 'wild card' option for his vacation getaway package.
Broken Obama promise ... 'This Child Was Left Behind'!
"Your father's here."
"First the horse's head in my bed and now this!"
"Something is happening here but you don't know what it is,do you, Mister Jones?"
You're better off a head
"It get's worse, Blanche. They didn't toilet paper the yard."
"I'm haunted by the face of my victim."
Jim Cavanaugh
"My gift? Well, you know I'm having a hard time keeping a straight face."
"I wished for a rock hard slong not a carved rock on my lawn."
Have you seen the dog's shit, honey?
"Al in L.A., lay across my big grass bed."
"Honey, didn't you say that today was recycling pick-up day?"
"I think I've figured out the source of the fecal matter in our well water."
I love your virility totem - but I had to half-bury it to keep the kids from swinging on it.
How did the world's biggest bobble-head get on our lawn?
"I feel so bad about dumping on al in la for not judging the contest. How was I to know that he had been turned into a giant chocolate Easter Island head?"
"Honey, why do you bother to bother to open the anti-cap page every morning and expect something different to be ... Whoah!!!"
"First the horse's head in my bed and now this!"
"Honey, the Landmarks Commission just called. They said this thing has been here so long, we can't legally move it."
"If Al doesn't judge us soon, we're going to fall off the first page!"
"Damn - we're in older posts now."
"I told you we'd fall off the first page. Damn you, al in la!"
see more about Haley Joel Osment at http://duckhits.com/9254/8-former-child-stars-stuck-with-their-kid-faces
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