NOTE: The NYer Cap Contest is stretched over two weeks, but in the spirit of trying to keep this thing moving, I have coughed up winners and even posted a bonus contest. Reflect your gratitude in the form of captions that don't waste every one's time.
WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
Any idea where I can
get a "If You Can Read This The Bitch Fell Off " back
tattoo ?--boneguy
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A little wordy but I laughed a knowing laugh the first time
I saw this on the back of a t-shirt. It's a commentary on the
duplicity of the biker lifestyle. They often resent the only person
who truly loves them. They also get a lot of tattoos. Added plus:
this cap would never gain traction in the NYer.)
SECOND PLACE
Yes, I'm uncircumcised,
how did you ... oh, no
helmet!--JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: About as good as you are going to get from Johnny. Say what
you will about this veteran Anti-Capper who is back week after week,
he gives good head...[wait for it]...jokes. )THIRD PLACE
There was a man from
Boston,
who had an Austin Malton.
He had room for his ass
and a gallon of gas
but his balls hung out
and he lost 'em!--Dr
Sumguy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: We seldom get caps in the form of verse. This is also a
cautionary tale about the dangers of riding naked. Although Boston is
a bit cold right now for this type of thing. )
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"You must be Fonda Peters, no?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A good little pun and it suggests the girl rider is speeding up to get a peek at his pecker. Someone else said it was a porn movie called “Sleazy Rider” but I'm trying to cut down on the number of Honorable Mentions as a means of wasting as little time as possible on this. )
"The
Harleys here are obscene."--REX
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Keeping alive a classic at all costs.)
"I's high flyin',
bare naked ..."--Obligatory Dylan (JUDGE'S COMMENT:
From the 1963 Dylan song "I Shall Be Free." It is a rambling
little ditty from his second debut album. It includes these verses
which clearly reference an erection: “Well, my telephone rang it
would not stop / It's President Kennedy callin' me up / He said, 'My
friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow'? / I said, 'My
friend, John, Brigitte Bardot...Anita Ekberg...Sophia
Loren...Country'll grow.'” Get it?)
"What
the fuck is going on here!?" ** There are numerous problems with this drawing. The most obvious one involves the design of the scooter. The frame of a scooter is designed so that the rider can place her feet on a platform in front of the seat. On a motorcycle, the rider straddles a seat and places her feet on pegs that jut out from the frame. In this drawing, the scooter has pegs and the rider has to lean her body far forward to use them, as if riding a sport bike.--smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: You forgot to mention that the guy on the chopper is naked. Take a tip from me: Don't over-think this stuff or it will rot what's left of your brain. )
This
is what I did today (that's me without the hat). Please don't judge
me for not judging you. As I explain repeatedly, I have been, you
know, kind of busy with other stuff. If you want to caption this
photo feel free, but anyone who makes fun of Mrs. Al on the other
bike risks a life-time ban from the Anti Cap, as if it has any life
left at all in la--JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Johnny has cleverly taken something I added to this blog and
twisted it a bit and made it as funny as anything he has ever
entered. I take umbrage at the suggestion that I “repeatedly”
explain my situation. I don't do anything on this blog repeatedly,
which is why you and some other diehards are left with no other
sites to visit on the internet.)
My
riding naked makes as much sense as al posting to this ghost ship of
a site.--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Ouch! This was the first cap entered. Since I was about 15 I
have been writing in a journal that no one but me has ever seen.
Don't talk to me about ghost ships. )
"The answer, my
friend, is blowing in the wind, and so is my cock and balls. Go Mets!
Nova sure is Cute. Have you ever seen Mystery Alaska... Greatest
movie ever! I'm a writer...I'm a writer!!!!"--Psycko Phant
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A nephew of mine once proudly observed
“Uncle Al is a writer!” I immediately corrected him by simply
saying “Failed writer.” That was like 20 years ago but this cap
made me think of that telling moment. Writers comes in many forms, as
do judges.)
Technically
it should be 'are' blowing in the wind--Word
Police (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually...oh never mind! )
50 comments:
My riding naked makes as much sense as al posting to this ghost ship of a site.
"The Harleys here are obscene."
"Hey lady ... Wanna see me do a wheely ... With my wee wee?"
"Hey lady ... Wanna see me do a wheely ... With my wee wee?"
This is what I did today (that's me without the hat). Please don't judge me for not judging you. As I explain repeatedly, I have been, you know, kind of busy with other stuff. If you want to caption this photo feel free, but anyone who makes fun of Mrs. Al on the other bike risks a life-time ban from the Anti Cap, as if it has any life left at all in la
You like my Hog?
Any idea where I can get a "If You Can Read This The Bitch Fell Off " back tattoo ?
"Listen to me when I point out the Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge!"
I left a skid mark at the last stop.
"And where exactly would you have me put the T-Mobile 4G cellphone you're trying to sell me?"
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like roman candles exploding across the stars. Bitch."
"So, tell me. How did you get the name Vespa?"
"You got nothin on me"
"There is love and there is a cry for love"
"O.K. Then, how about a naked brunch?"
"I understand that Mailer's original title was The Naked and the Drop-Dead Gorgeous."
"Don't ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right."
Jesus Hillary, isn't it just like you to retire just as I finally found myself?
"Condoms are for sissies, ma'am."
Yes, I'm uncircumcised, how did you ... oh, no helmet!
That's funny, I never run out of gas.
"...because I'm getting my suit cleaned and pressed. Oh, and my shirt, tie, belt, shoes and socks."
"I never joke about my work, (o)(o)7."
"Pardon me Miss ... Which way to Nordstroms?"
"You wanna ride on my Fat Boy?"
Jim Cavanaugh
"Hasta la Vespa, baby.”
"Hey baby, when you pass me just remember, 'Object in Mirror much Bigger than it Appears'."
'The Crack of Dawn' is passed by 'Full Moon Rising'!
My rear exhaust has never come close to California emissions standards.
Hey Penelope, how would You like to be My next pitstop?
The Prophet Muhammad. 21st century. Oil on canvas, 182.9cm x 121.8cm. Museum of Modern Art, New York.
Larry from New Jersey moves into first place.
Easy Rider's alternate ending.
"Bob Dole no longer suffers from erectile dysfunction and Bob Dole wants the world to know."
"You must be Fonda Peters, no?"
"Because the vibrating seat feels great on my taint and balls. That's why."
"Hey, you know how fat chicks are like mopeds? They're both fun to ride until your friends see you."
"It's called a chopper, baby, and I'm airing out my bushmaster."
Sid's 'Vicious Cycle' passes the 'Menstrual Cycle' during the BaHaHa 1000!
"I always thought you were crazy, big guy, but now I can see your nuts."
---blw
"I'll show you my 'Crank', if you show me your 'Crack'!"
"I'm doing a porn movie ... 'Rebel Without a Condom'!"
"I'm doing a porn movie ... 'Sleazy Rider'
"Hey baby! I can tell you like material things... How do you like my new cloths?"
"I's high flyin', bare naked ..."
"And yes ... My eye is also naked!"
"I hope Farley Katz is better at creating captions than he is at drawing cartoons."
"What the fuck is going on here!?" *
* There are numerous problems with this drawing. The most obvious one involves the design of the scooter. The frame of a scooter is designed so that the rider can place her feet on a platform in front of the seat. On a motorcycle, the rider straddles a seat and places her feet on pegs that jut out from the frame. In this drawing, the scooter has pegs and the rider has to lean her body far forward to use them, as if riding a sport bike.
Yo, Smuck. Gotcha! But this is nothing compared to what cartoonists do to Weber kettles.
Technically it should be 'are' blowing in the wind
Post a Comment