WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
No
one wanted to touch it. It's a poison IV.--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A rare instance when a painfully awful pun is a slam dunk
winner. And if he was in fact receiving poison by intervenous he
would die, which gives it some plausibility. That it was entered by
someone too ashamed [or lazy] to include a fake name is a fitting reminder of Anti-Cap culture.)
SECOND
PLACE
"He
was born on February 29th ... 'Rest in Pisces'!"--Dr
Sumguy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Another pun but not nearly as good—in fact this cap truly
sucks and should never been entered. Who ever entered it is a real a
jerk, probably a Red Sox fan from New Jersey who has never been to a Dylan concert. [Just want to remind you what you miss when I don't
judge this shit.].)
THIRD
PLACE
"Hey
. . . Papa's got a brand new bag."---J.Brown (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Our first-ever James Brown caption. Very nice. It seems
innocent enough until you realize this could also apply to a
colostomy bag.)
HONNORABLE
MENTIONS
It's
so bittersweet that one our sons had to be sacrificed on Super Bowl
Sunday.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A bit clumsy but certainly topical. Remember: Even the
losing coach did better than all the other coaches except the one who
won.)
"He
looks happy ... I guess the enema bag is working!"--Dr
Sumguy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Here's my suggested slogan for the product: "Enemas...For
when you just don't give a shit.” [I wanted to trademark that for
the Anti-Cap but never got around to it.] )
Goddamn
barbershop chair spring got him out of the blue.--boneguy (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: That cartoon was even worse than this one, so just let it
go, okay?)
Poor
al. He thought he could skate, talk and record a selfie at the same
time.--boneguy
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: I hate to make a bad cap worse by bringing up the truth, but
I DID do those three things at once – with grace and aplomb. And
when I got home, I ordered new skates online so there may be a
follow-up selfie.)
Jeez,
why don't they let Al die already—he's way outlived his
usefulness.--Ashen
Dockworker (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: There is an undeniable element of truth here, but it's not
that simple. I have a future hockey player who needs schooling on
slap shots and cheap shots. Thanks for the encouragement, Assface
Douche-bag.)
"His
last words were ... 'It's Tough' ... But not as tough as doing
anticaptions!"--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Actually, “doing anticaptions” is easy, doing them well
is another matter. JohnnyB, Boneguy and KathyH could tell you that.)
"Just
when we're ready to pull the plug he wakes up and judges another
contest. You think he's fucking with us?"
--
Jim
Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Why is it always about you?)
37 comments:
"Lived in L.A....Used to judge a contest or something...You hungry? I could go for Chinese."
"He's got his cell phone. ... The good news. ... No roaming charges!"
"This stiff looks like he's coming ... Not going"!
"He looks happy ... I guess the enema bag is working!"
Before Obamacare, we'd actually have to wait for our parents to get sick before we buried them.
Goddamn barbershop chair spring got him out of the blue.
"Yes, you're right, these 3-D glasses do make him look more lifelike."
"His last words were ... 'It's Tough' ... But not as tough as doing anticaptions!"
His doc could never remember if O negative is the universal donor or recipient.
"Just when we're ready to pull the plug he wakes up and judges another contest. You think he's fucking with us?"
Jim Cavanaugh
"We're your death panel."
"He was born on February 29th ... 'Rest in Pisces'!"
"Fitting wake for a real drip."
"They could've at least cleaned the big cobweb out of the coffin."
"It's an Express- embalm, wake and cremate in one day or your money back."
"I know he wanted to be buried with his catheter, but that's no way to hang it."
I threw on a Michael Bolton CD. Death's not looking so bad now, is it Sid?
"He looks so...dead."
"Hand me the pillow and let's get this funeral started."
I think this what Republicans call "self-deportation ".
"They haven't even played their first Spring Training game yet! Christ's sake, you Mets fans are all alike."
"Check to see if he's wearing "The Glove"."
"Having one foot in the grave wasn't enough?"
Poor al. He thought he could skate, talk and record a selfie at the same time.
Jeez, why don't they let Al die already—he's way outlived his usefulness.
"The 'IV' was his last request ... He believed in life after death!"
"Ew. Gross. A face like that should have been cremated. look, his IV is still in. Weird."
No one wanted to touch it. It's a poison IV.
Do you think there would be any harm if I used his IV to water the hydrangeas?
"Hey . . . Papa's got a brand new bag."
---J.Brown
"Hey, what's in the bag, Goose???"
---Granny Goose, circa 1967
"I don't think this qualifies as heroin chic, Henry."
It's so bittersweet that one our sons had to be sacrificed on Super Bowl Sunday.
"At least Ray Lewis didn't get to him after the Super Bowl."
Jim Cavanaugh
"If he doesn't die in the next forty-five minutes I'm leaving."
Did you see al's biography on Amazon, "A Caption Too Far?"
"The testosterone drip is working ... I see him as a nude biker in the future!"
Uncle Albert always did have to have the last turd
Vampire ICU.
"The needle and the damage done."
Post a Comment