The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #272

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"Now I know what it feels like to be black."--Rob (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Not funny but not supposed to be funny. I heard an old interview with Rosa Parks this morning on NPR. Turns out she was sitting in the front row of the "colored section" on that Alabama bus in 1955. When the front of the bus filled up and some white men were forced to stand, the driver ordered her and three other black people to relinquish their seats. I had always heard Rosa had defiantly sat in the front to make a statement. She didn't. The white folk just changed the rules at their whim. Getting back to the caption here, I believe it is social statement mingled and a cautionary tale. If and when, this vehicle crashes the people in front will be more likely to die than those in the back. And that too is a fitting metaphor.)

SECOND PLACE

Meanwhile, at the Crawford Ranch.... Austin in PA (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I know, I know, by now it's clear that W is beyond low hanging fruit. He is completely irrelevant. A festering pimple that was popped, the puss long since wiped away. Still, the sore lingers. While he lives a rich man's life of privilege and comfort, he drinks heavily to ease the pain that comes with the knowledge that millions upon millions of people hate your fucking guts. That's why this is a good Anti-Cap.)

THIRD PLACE

Maybe we should go back to celebrating Martin Luther King's birthday instead of Jackson Pollock's. --boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: With all that hair flying back in a horizontal direction and all those motion lines, the drawing is almost like an abstract work of art, with out the art part. It was posted on MLK day which makes it topical.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS

"If we lived here we'd be dead now."--Bev (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Somewhat funny and very profound statement about the dangers of excess. If I lived in Pittsburgh I'd drive like this just to hasten the inevitable. Thanks for making me smile a very slight smile, Bev.)
I promised the kids when they finished drinking they could buy some ammo at the Super Wal-Mart. --Tucson mom (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Somewhat topical. Ever notice that "ammo" and "asshole" sound a lot alike?)
"Don't blame me. I voted for the party that's not metaphorically drunk at the wheel, driving us to ruin while flinging refuse in our faces."--Walt (JUDGE'S COMMENT: To offset the obvious leftist sentiments regularly expressed here, I thought I'd give this cap some play. That's why our team is better than theirs: we're more open minded that those narrow minded Neanderthal swine.)

Does the little piggy go whee, whee, whee all the way home: "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" --geeko_pig (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This references last week's comments. It always nice to know someone reads this besides me and the Mrs.)At least the Make-a-Wish Foundation could get Linsay Lohan out of rehab to grant Billy's dying wish. I just wish it didn't involve us.--Eric G (JUDGE'S COMMENT: One minute after posting this, Eric added another cap that simply said "...make that Lindsay Lohan..." Talk about low hanging fruit. Still, it's kind of funny when someone screws up trying to malign someone. If Lindsay Lohan reads this, I'm sure she would have a good laugh at Eric's expense. So clearly he has nothing to worry about.)

"Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" --Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This refers to a 1965 film by director Russ Meyer. Three (not two!) buxom strippers seeking thrills encounter a young couple in the desert. It's an out-of-left-field yet somewhat logical cap that almost no one will get. Why Tim went with bold face, who knows. But thanks man.)
I'd feel safer if he had drawn us an over-sized monster truck. --JohnnyB. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: In fairness, the artist could have put them in any one of a number of settings that would spell certain doom--like, say, the hard drive on Johnny's computer where he hatches his caps. Just kidding. Welcome back! [Not to the contest, to the coveted list of Honorable Mentions, I mean])
"I am big. It's the 'cartoons' that got small." --Norma. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is a bit like Johnny's cap, only more imaginative and thoughtful. I posted the cartoon as I always do, but for some reason it appears on my blog barely large than a postage stamp. I am convinced the New Yorker did something to undermine my efforts and a sabotage this contest because it puts their's to shame. What other explanation could there be?)

This is positively 4th street --Jackob's Brother Gratuitous Dylan (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure I get it. The song referenced here is widely believed to be Dylan's rant at fans who "gotta a lot of nerve" It was written decades a go. I'm sure he has gotten over it by now.)
Our highways would look something like this if Johhny B. and Kathy H. had kids.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If only that were true.)
The kids prefer corked wine bottles. They're anti-cap.--Not Welker (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another thing this is not is funny. Still, I feel I have to mention caps that somehow reference the contest. Consider it done.)
"I hate to think what they would have done if the Jets had WON!"--Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I can let you this much: If they had. these comments would be a lot less condescending, meandering and bitter. Give me a week. I'll be fine. Sports-wise, I won't have my heart broken again until the Mets go into their annual swoon. That won't be for months. Go Green Bay!)