Monday, August 3, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest No. 485


34 comments:

  1. "And how was your day?"

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  2. "Did I tell you, I ran into Al Gore!"

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  3. "Could you scratch my hump!"

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  4. "I suppose you forgot our favorite song ... Bessie May Mucho!"

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  5. "I'd like to get my sword count down."

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  6. "According to Trump, I'm an illegal Mexican!"

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  7. "I got that carving knife set you wanted."

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  8. "Ouch."

    Jim Cavanaugh

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  9. "They said they where sick of my bull shit."

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  10. The first rule of fight club: never talk about fight club.

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  11. Stay away from the veterinary acupuncturist. He's a total hack.

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  12. It's National Oversized Hors d'oeuvre Week.

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  13. "It feels like somebody stuck five swords down my hump, but my doctor says it's shingles."

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  14. "You're a cow!
    Give me some milk
    Or else go home"

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  15. "No, not that one. That's Superman."

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  16. "Dentist killed by lion after wisdom tooth extraction goes awry!"

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  17. "...and this ain't the worst of it. Some clown on a merry-go-round tried to pull the ring out of my nose!"

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  18. What say I put on some Sinatra and we make a little beef bourguignon?

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  19. "Honey, my back hurts."

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  20. "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a pincushion."

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  21. "Look at me, Woman. Workplace violence is on the rise I tell you."

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  22. "I tried to tell them my name was BULL not BUSH... but they called me a RINO and stabbed me in the back."

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  23. "Of all the pastures in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine."

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  24. You don't like my piercings? I had to kill some tights-wearing guy to get them.

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  25. "You shoulda seen her! She was bleeding from her eyes! She was bleeding from...wherever!!"

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  26. "Got five nipples for a quarter?"

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  27. "Between this and the way they grope your tits every day... I think we should probably check out and stay at a different B&B."

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  28. "Doctor tried lancing the tumor. Five fucking times!"

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  29. "New Yorker Anti-caption Contest - Put a fork in it!"

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  30. "Damn, I'm emitting like a Jetta."

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