Friday, June 28, 2013

Bonus Caption Contest: What are they saying to each other??

new yorker   


















Note: This cover from the New Yorker was posted here, but due to a technical glitch, had to be deleted and re-posted. [I don't want to discuss it.]  In the brief time it was up, it drew several comments. So, since the NYer is on hiatus, consider this fodder for an Anti-Caption contest. What are Burt and Ernie saying to each other? Or, if you prefer,enter a narrative cap that would be suitable for a newspaper. Feel free to be gross, wield or stupid -- but try and be clever.  


WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
Remember when we first dated and I would fuck the stuffing out of you?--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Muppets don't really have stuffing, but they do have needs. This image reminds us of that.)

SECOND PLACE
"Will you do sodomy with me now?" -- NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: You can just hear the response: “No. But I will do sodomy TO you, little buddy.”)

 THIRD PLACE
"No thanks, Bert. I'm stuffed."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Everyone seems to assume Bert pitches and Ernie catches--why?)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Enough with this shit. Change the channel to "Behind the Candelabra".--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A reference to an HBO movie that many gays hated because Liberace was portrayed as he was: narcissistic, manipulative and very creepy. Not exactly a revered figure in the community.)
"Lay, Ernie, lay, lay across Bert's 'big brass bed'..."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: “Why wait any longer for the muppet you love...?”)
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28 comments:

  1. NAMBYJune 28, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    "Funny how a couple of muppets have more balls than Scalia."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Greenie Stik-M-CapsJune 28, 2013 at 7:26 PM

    "I always wanted to marry a Kennedy."

    ReplyDelete
  3. pg13June 28, 2013 at 7:52 PM

    "No thanks, Bert. I'm stuffed."

    ReplyDelete
  4. pg13June 28, 2013 at 7:55 PM

    "Now that our wedding date is set, we can register for that hdtv."

    ReplyDelete
  5. pg13June 28, 2013 at 8:03 PM

    "They've known all along, Ernie. It was your bronzer that gave it away."

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 29, 2013 at 1:28 AM

    "Too bad Justice Black isn't around to see this."

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  7. pg13June 29, 2013 at 3:17 AM

    "Bert, I'm worried that the public won't accept us for who we really are: Hispanics."

    ReplyDelete
  8. R. WatersJune 29, 2013 at 6:02 AM

    "Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from."

    ReplyDelete
  9. NJ-to-TXJune 29, 2013 at 7:32 AM

    "Now we have to make it legal to bring big bird into this."

    ReplyDelete
  10. NJ-to-TXJune 29, 2013 at 8:03 AM

    "Will you do sodomy with me now?"

    ReplyDelete
  11. ShellyJune 29, 2013 at 8:25 AM

    "Our donation buys the Supreme Court's vote on the issue of our choice? This is the best PBS pledge drive ever!"

    "The allegations can't be true. Why would Kevin Clash want to put his hand anywhere but up Elmo?"

    "Forty years on the show and countless Emmys, and we can't even afford a new TV or wardrobe. I told you we should have joined SAG-AFTRA."

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJune 29, 2013 at 10:09 AM

    "We gotta call Carl and Lenny. It's our turn to host Tapas night."

    ReplyDelete
  13. boneguyJune 29, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    I swear to God, Bert. I got super drunk in college and ended up giving Scalia a blow job.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 29, 2013 at 1:49 PM

    Bill O'Reilly's Voice Coming From the TV: Tonight on the Factor we'll look at what happens when Sesame Street intersects with Hershey Highway, and how YOU can protect your kids

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  15. Kathy HJune 29, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    "Scalia must be turning over in his grave!"

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  16. AnonymouseJune 29, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    The Rainbow Connection

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  17. pg13June 29, 2013 at 7:40 PM

    "Lay, Ernie, lay, lay across Bert's 'big brass bed'..."

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJune 29, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    "As long as we get what we want a false axiom here or there will only have the potential to hurt young adopted boys... I can live with that."

    "As I."

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJune 30, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    "I wonder how long it will be before they try to make it harder for us to vote."

    Jim Cavanaugh

    ReplyDelete
  20. REXJune 30, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    "Sure that's nice. But face it, anyone who sees the separate beds knows we've been together forever."

    ReplyDelete
  21. SatireguyJuly 1, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    Bert and Ernie find Scalia's dissent a bit "wield"

    ReplyDelete
  22. chucklesJuly 1, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    see the cover: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/06/new-yorker-cover-bert-ernie-gay-marriage.html

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ernie's MustacheJuly 3, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    "The Word of the Day is "Dirty Sanchez".

    ReplyDelete
  24. Angus PodgornyJuly 5, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    Tell me, Bert, if those four dissenting justices really hate sodomy, then why do they have their heads so far up their asses?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Angus PodgornyJuly 5, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    It's time to put on a rubber, ducky, and express your love in Ernest.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Angus PodgornyJuly 5, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    They've all aged so much, I can't even tell which one is Diana Ross.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Kathy HJuly 12, 2013 at 7:40 AM

    "On the other hand, Bert, I always kinda liked stuffed shirts."

    ReplyDelete
  28. AmeeJuly 29, 2013 at 2:09 AM

    This is cool!

    ReplyDelete