New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #366

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"He was my first Afro ... I guess the 'Jig is Up'!"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very stupid, but not without ironic merit.  “Jig,” of course is short for “jigaboo” which the Urban Diction describes as the “funniest sounding racial slur known to man.” Perhaps that's why we so seldom hear it. It's a thin line between funny and don't-go there-man! If you said this on TV you wouldn't have a Chinaman's chance of keeping your job. So maybe its okay to use for its humor value.)

SECOND PLACE

Sure, I believe in the father, and in the son, and in-the-hole-he-goes. 
(If I'm not mistaken, this was the very first anti-cap I ever entered. I offer my insincere apologies for the fact that it won't be my last.)--Angus Podgorny (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So? Who keeps track of such things? And insincere apologies are as common as they are infuriating. What's impressive is the unfounded hubris.)

THIRD PLACE

"Fucking Arab spring."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Makes sense. Spring is a season and a device. What that has to do with a barber shop chair – who knows?)

HONNORABLE MENTIONS

"I never joke about my work, 007."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Because people who make jokes are at least trying to be funny – unlike the author of this cap. )

"Christ, what an asshole."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A rare instances of a classic cap used verbatim in the service of humor. This linked to something, but who has time to drill down?)

"Flew ceilingly, you crazy barber. How are you?"--Di Kweed (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Reaching for a classic is like reaching for the meaning of life --- a fool's errand.)

"No Mr. Bond? I expect he will fly"--Di Kweed (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Much better than the previously cap but still not particularly good [frankly].) 

No Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A cautionary tale about vanity if we assume the aging spy refused to have his hair colored and was promptly jettisoned through the ceiling.)

"Fuck the pig and the horse he rode in on!"
--Because I think it's my funniest anti-cap to-date, and I'm not sure which contest you'll judge next.--Hypocritical Idiot (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Noted, but back seat judging is still frowned on.)

"There goes Al ... That's it for the Anti-Caption Contest!"--Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If history has taught us anything: Those thrust sky-ward may crash through the ceiling, but they fall back to earth. )

"He just sat in that chair, sometimes from sundown to sunrise, writing and editing ... and whining."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If by whining you mean the consumption of Merlot or Chardonnay, you have offered great insight and a slight sapling error. If you mistake an astute observation for a gripe or complaint, you should sit in a spring-loaded barber's chair and wait for launch.)

It's much like entering the anti-cap contest. There's about a 50-50 chance that anything will happen.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And the winners will envy the losers. Once again we see the need for validation is more important that the creative outlet provided for you on this humble little blog. You sicken me. )

What a shame. al was our best customer.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If by “best” you mean least likely to laugh at your stupid jokes, you nailed it. )

"Anyone else care to complain about the lack of anti-cap contestant winners???"
---blw (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Well...I'm waiting. )