The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #320

WINNERS
FIRST PLACE"No matter what we say, it's gonna spoil the visual joke."--Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: He's right you know. The image of an over-sized fancy dinner cart left outside the gate of a fortress offers irony and amusement. It needs no cumbersome words to muck it up. Remarkably this was the last cap submitted before I got around to reading them. I was going to pick it as the lone winner as a means of making a statement about its zen like simplicity, but I quickly realized that Anti-Cappers would interpret it as another manifestation of my laziness busy schedule. And besides I had already picked a bunch of other caps that didn't suck as much as the ones I didn't pick. And so it goes.)

SECOND PLACE"Beware of Greeks bearing brunch." --Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A sage observation. Something every mom should tell her daughter. )
THIRD PLACE"What's the rule on tipping in this situation . . . now or after we've been hopelessly deceived and slaughtered?"---left coast wayne (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If they are going to kill you, I say stiff them. )
HONORABLE MENTIONS"I've seen this little charade before . . . the food's cold, the OJ is made from concentrate and there's no USA Today." ---blw (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's also a half-hour late and, yes, the tip is included. A comment on overpriced hotel breakfasts. Even so, you still sound like a pampered little priss who gets annoyed if his latte isn't just so. )



"And THIS, my friend, is exactly why gays shouldn't serve in the military" --Value added copy cap (JUDGE'S COMMENT: As the signature suggests his was entered shortly after DADT gave us "And THIS, my friend, is exactly why gays should stay out of the military" The second one is better but they both suck--and not in a good way.They shouldn't serve in the military because they live in a country that doesn't respect them.)

“I hate shooting on location . . . anyway, you can bet that’s not for us. It’s for Ms. Swanson. She’s still big, it was the pictures that got small.”---blw (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A strange and playful nod to 1950 classic flim Sunset Blvd. )
"You're gonna need a bigger commode." --Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A strange a somewhat gross nod to the 1975 thriller Jaws. This almost won but I don't want to encourage this type of shit.)
"Thank God! I had no idea what we were going to feed that damn horse." --Amigaaaa (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was posted twice. The author added the "no" 4 minutes after botching it the first time. No doubt there was an "Oh crap!!" moment. We like that kind of self loathing here. Still a crappy-cap.)"How do we know it's not full of consultants?" -- Weyant's actual caption to his similar cartoon in The New Yorker issue last July 4th. --Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice catch. It is well trod concept and a fitting metaphor for short sightedness and greed. The fictional Trojan Horse was a huge wooden horse. Hidden inside were a few solders. The Greeks simply left it behind knowing the Trojans would pull it into their gated city as a victory trophy. The men inside later crept out and opened the gates for the rest of the Greek army, which had returned under cover of night. The Greeks entered and destroyed the city of Troy, decisively ending the war.)
The hors here are d'oeuvres.Fusilli, you crazy bastard, how hungry are you?I am haunted by the place settings of my victims. --JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Shut up Johnny, every one knows your entry is a put-on. )
No Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine. --Austin (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This works if we assume it is some type of super-sized James Bond.)
No no- You fool - I said "al in la" NOT " ala carte!!!" --Blonde (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Thanks for the nod, I guess.)
"Could someone tell the King his Chicken al in la King has arrived al a carte?" --Ghost to the Post (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A-okay. If you are reading this you are clearly a devoted anti-capper so I will share with you my time tested secret for outstanding Chicken Alla King: Saute onion strips and sliced mushrooms with a good dusting of fresh ground black pepper. High heat. Exhaust fan on. Swish around. Let it start to burn. De glaze with a splash of white wine. Lower the flame. Add a can of cream of mushroom soup, diced chicken, frozen peas and sliced carrots.Give it a good 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add a splash of half and half if you got it. Serve over toast [or rice] and everyone will think you are a genius. )