Sunday, January 4, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #458


35 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. "And why do you think your expertise on anal sphincters makes you a wonder of the modern world as well?"

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  3. "Let's see, Valley of the Kings, Madoff Securities- your experience with pyramid schemes is outstanding."

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  4. So, if you get this next question wrong, you die; get it right, you've got the job. Okay?

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  5. And what experience do you have in rhinoplasty?

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  6. "I'm sorry, but the law requires that you actually state that you are taking the Fifth."

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  7. "Sorry, but we have very stringent pooper-scooper laws around here."

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  8. "Alls I'm saying is, thank God my ceiling is 67 feet high."

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  9. May I take the liberty of signing the Mia Pharaoh prenup on your behalf?

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  10. This speaks volumes to the unintended consequences of Obama's  Immigration Executive Action.

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  11. "Agreed. We shall never speak of contest #457."

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  12. You know that my people were the slaves who built you. Now you want financial help from me?

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  13. "It says here that your erection began more than four thousand years ago."

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  14. "Your résumé would be more impressive had you not stayed in place for so long."

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  15. Or,,,

    "Your résumé would be more impressive had you not stayed in ONE place for so long."

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  17. “Methinks you sphinx too much.”

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  18. How could anyone take Moses seriously? I mean the guy carried around tablets with all of .000000000000000000000000000000000001 gigabytes of data storage.

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  19. "Christ, what a sphinxter!"

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  20. "The note says ... The Leon Spink's riddle has been solved ... Call me at fi fo fi - fi fo fi fo!"

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  21. "Did you ever play hockey? ... I heard you had a face off with the French in 1798!"

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  22. "You're in luck. I have an opening at The Temple of Dendur"

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  23. "Well, I can get you an endorsement deal with Purina Sphinx Chow®."

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  24. "Your silence gives one paws...er, I mean, pause."

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  25. "Feeling a little edgy?"

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  26. "It says here that, despite having a man face, you have red junk like a dog's. Cool!"

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  27. "Sure, I like tuts and ass as much as the next guy."

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  28. "You've been offered a position as goal post for the Detroit Lions! There's a signing bonus!"

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  29. “Does your mummy know you’re here?”

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  30. You say the Jews built you? That's funny because every time I need to change a light bulb, I call someone.

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  31. "Excellent resumé, but the Greek version brings enormous tits to the workplace."

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  32. "As a figure of antiquity, have you considered changing your term insurance to a whole life policy!"

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