Monday, October 20, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #448





48 comments:

  1. "For Mr. Winchler, it's always more of a lateral move than a promotion."

    "Beelzi, you crazy bastard, how are you going to get him now?"

    "Change our 'on hold' music to Led Zeppelin."

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  2. The Godhead called. Should I put him on hold?

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  3. "Tell Seinfeld he was right. Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."

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  4. Before you do something stupid, let me at least check the prices of stairways to heaven on Amazon.

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  5. "He said he had to take a dump!"

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  6. "If it's Judgment Day, then this must be alinla."

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  7. "He just headed out to some Goddamn place."

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  8. "I don't know if he's coming or going. He never tells me anything."

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  9. "The auras here are to be seen!"

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  10. "Can't tell when he's coming back. He just entered the most amazing cronut I've ever seen!"

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  11. "He's just entering the 'Warp Speed Asshole' now! ... I guess I'll be feeding Bentley for the next few days!"

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  12. I'd like to commission a less optimistic mural for my office.

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  13. "Damn! He forgot his golden parachute!"

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  14. "Marge, I don't know much about real estate law, but that's one hell of a zoning variance."

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  15. "He's gone to find someone to judge the anti-cap contest."

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  16. "She's buying it? Doesn't she drive a Taurus?

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  17. Jesus Mel, can't you use Uber like everybody else?

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  18. "I told him to get me a light. No, Bud Light."

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  19. "He left ... He said he couldn't find piece on earth!"

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  20. "He left. He couldn't prove that he wasn't a robot."

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  21. "This is crazy ... He coulda gotten this app on his iPhone!"

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  22. "It's working, Mr. Escher. He's going down to Hell!"

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  23. "Hurry on down, alinla, you're missing judgement day."

    Jim Cavanaugh

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  24. "Please prove you're not a robot."

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  25. "He's been studying 'Cloud Relativity' ... This morning he was three miles late for a dental appointment!"

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  26. "He's walking...he's walking...okay, he just detonated himself. It's safe to say God and Jenkins are both dead."

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  27. "I'm sorry. But Mr. Bradlee had a deadline to meet."

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  28. “Congratulations, you are the millionth NY’er contestant with a Led Zeppelin reference”

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  29. Yes it does look a little like Evrolet Girl's sphincter after that whole Coit Tower / too-many-lettuce-wraps thing she had going on.

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  30. "He said he had a headache and went to get two tablets."

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  31. "Looks like we need a new window."

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  32. Can Carruthers call you back? He's out knock knock knocking on heaven's door.

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  33. Lucky for him, he hasn't sworn in the last half hour.

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  34. "He's celebrating a touchdown."

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  35. "The heavenly powers here are obscene. "

    Jim Cavanaugh

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  36. "He just started on his 19-Step Program."

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  37. "He left a note ... 'I'm gay, I'm going on a long trip, I hate leaving my friends behind'!"

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  38. Take it easy Bob. He's a Hindu. He'll be back.

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  39. "The boss turned it into some stupid 'Gain Perspective' meme."

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  40. "He's on that Godawful stairmaster."

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  41. "Do not go gentle into that good night ? I am sorry sir. I think you got the wrong Dylan."

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  42. "Apparently he's on some kind of celestial field trip with the return date left up in the air."

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  43. I know god asked for a hamster, but I figure Stevenson will do in a pinch.

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  44. "Let me get this straight; you are in the future and you want me to call you back?"

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  45. "He went to talk to the sun about this rainy weather."...
    "I am looking at him now and evidently he can."

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  46. "I’m sorry sir. This is not the ‘do not go gentle into that good night’ Dylan. This is the ‘that long cold black cloud is coming down’ Dylan.”

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