New Yorker Anti Caption Contest #442

   

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"Where in hell did you learn to drive?"

--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was the first cap entered in this contest and Jimbo knocked it out of the park. Laugh out loud funny. Maybe Jim's best anti-cap ever. It is also hit home. Full disclosure: It's something I often want to yell at Chinese women driving minivans.)

SECOND PLACE

"We should have listened to that guy yelling, 'You're gonna have to swerve, somebody.'"--NJtoTX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A masterful combination of a Dylan lyric and a terrible pun. "Gotta Serve Somebody" also takes note of the devil so it is appropriate for the image.)

THIRD PLACE

"I know I backed into you, but can we just blame you like we always do?"--NJtoTX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Unlikely that the angel would ask permission before assigning blame. Metaphorically, the devil may represent victims who have been demonized. This may also be a statement about the conflict that tears at the soul of every man. )

HONORABLE MENTIONS

"I still love you"
"I hate you even more"--Don Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Evil does not thrive on hate. It's more of a conquest thing. An even so, the accident is clearly the fault of the devil. You don't address that, do you Don?)

Fuckn-A Satan, we just crushed the shit out of Ollie from Kukla, Fran ans Ollie.--big G (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't get this but I thought it should be praised because I recall KF&O from my childhood.)

"The caption police should be here any minute."--Veteran crapper and total loser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Remember, the caption police at the NYer won't let you get away with dirty words, racism, sexism, bad taste and horrible puns. They offer no quarter to the humorless semi-coherent rantings of the dissatisfied masses. They know not the value of Dylan references included only to placate the judge. Does this mean we should form an anti-caption police force? This could get ugly.)

The first rule of anti-capping is that your entry could NEVER ever even be considered for the real contest. Keep this in mind--Veteran capper and repeated winner (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually the first rule of anti-capping is: Never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking.)