New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #436,

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"The irony is that I have never actually seen a fish bowl."--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Stupid, but in a thoughtful way. Absurd, yet somehow rational. Brings to mind that whole “you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish” thing. Most important, it took a second or two for me to get this. That much I appreciate.)

SECOND PLACE

Don-bub plee imbuh plool--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was posted three minutes after J.B. entered the rather bland cap: “Oh my god, did you just pee in the bowl?” It's as though he sat for a second, took bong hit and said (to himself as he exhaled): “You know what would be even funnier? If, like, the guys where talking under water. Fuck yeah! How can that NOT win?” Interestingly, the under water version does not include the “Oh my god” part. Maybe it just doesn't translate well. Blice blurk, J.B.)

THIRD PLACE

"I wonder how Abe Vigoda's doing?"--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure it's obscure, but why would these too guys care? Also Abe Vigoda wasn't sent to sleep with the fishes in GF I, it was the character he played, Salvatore Tessio. Like a dead maestro, he's decomposing nicely.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

"The hours here are aquamarine."--Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Aquamarine is a light bluish-green color which would most likely NOT be evident in a fish bowl. Still, I have a fondness for the classics.)

I brought a couple of minnows, do you mind?--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This works because, apart from being fish, a “minnow” can refer to “a person of relatively small size, power, or influence.” You know, like an Anti-Cap judge.)

"Man, I could go for a Nutty Salmon just about now."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: At first I thought this was just an insensitive description of fish suffering from mental illness. Luckily, Kathy offered a link. The cap actually references a five-year old post on J.B.'s blog explaining a method for grilling fish. [Best line: “I rubbed a little olive oil on it...”] Once again Kathy's proves that her link-obsession is not without merit. Even so, Anti-Cap scholars will be justifiably outraged. Kathy previously included this link and I, of course, responded with the same lame joke. )