WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"Of
course there's not a single black rhino in this cartoon."--Steve_O
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Brilliant! Steve_O nailed it like Harry Reems [RIP].
The absence of black people in NYer cartoons is, of course, a
perennial sore spot for Anti-Cappers. How good is this entry? It is
so good that this cap, and this cap alone, prompted me to get off my
ass and render results for this contest and the one preceding it.
[Needless to say “get off my ass” is just a metaphor. I am, of
course, sitting on my ass while doing this-- go figure.] )
SECOND
PLACE
"They
remind you of me how?"--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A fitting reminder that dialog between a man and a woman can
be a minefield. You can just hear the nervous response:
“Well...um...for one thing you both like coffee.”)
THIRD
PLACE
"I
love that this place explores the themes of conformity, culture, mass
movements, philosophy and morality, but a goddamn latte shouldn't
cost $6.35."--NJ-to-TX
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: A nice little dig at Starbucks. Sometimes I go in, pick up
copy of the NY Times, fold it under my arm, feign interest in
the over-priced menu for a few moments...then casually stroll out.
Saves me $2.50)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"Honestly.
I can't believe they all missed that the name of this place is The
Chinese Rhino Holocaust Cafe and they're all going to be killed for
their horns." --Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Well intended but clumsy and tasteless. Why would they be
served coffee if they are just going to be slaughtered? And who would
be stupid enough to incorporate the word “holocaust” in the name
of a cafe? I mean, what's their slogan, “We like coffee, How 'bout
jew?” )
Wow.
The GOP made good on their threat to purge all the
RINOs.--boneguy
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: We'd have to assume the ousted Republicans gathered at a
coffee shoppe to commiserate. Nice to see Anti-Cap stud boneguy is
still sticking around.)
2
minutes later...
"...or
is it Spearmint
Rhino?
Either way."--Kathy
H (JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Kathy H, bless her heart, can't get straight the
preposterous name of a line of strip bars. Apparently it does not
appear on her resume.)
"It's
like "McCarthyism", no I guess it IS McCarthyism, because
once you start making lists you will end up with ... Pole Pot, Nazis,
NSA or the Rhino list.”--Anonymous
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Just a guess, but this may also allude to Republicans who
detest non-extremists. Also, I knew that Pole Pot, is NOT a drug
reference because I majored in Political Science – an other -wise
completely useless major.)
"To
Rhine-known self be true. That has to be good enough to win something
on the Anti-cap? Right?"--MAX
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT: Would have been much better if it said “bad enough to win”
and, really, what do you actually win other than the faint
recognition of some guy in L.A. whose interest in this is marginal at
best. But thanks to all who entered and have remained devoted
Anti-Cappers.)
It's pretty crowded. Should we wait, or just go eat somewhere else?
ReplyDelete"I just don't get African class structure."
ReplyDelete"Most of them order an 'Iced Rhinorrhea', and a few of the fertile females get a shot of 'Rhino Shield'!"
ReplyDelete"The stench could be worse ... Most of them are wearing 'Under Armour'!"
ReplyDelete"I don't mean to pry, but ... Your nose is beautiful ... Have you had a ty?"
ReplyDelete"I'll go outside and knock over some motorcycles."
ReplyDelete"They remind you of me how?"
ReplyDelete"This is the only place that takes Rhinoplastic."
ReplyDeleteWow. The GOP made good on their threat to purge all the
ReplyDeleteRINOs.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Thats It! ... Now I remember ... Get Propane!"
ReplyDelete"Once you get past the stench, the coffee is pretty good."
ReplyDelete"For some reason, this place makes me horny."
ReplyDelete"I just can't get enough of Spirit Rhino."
ReplyDelete"...or is it Spearmint Rhino? Either way."
ReplyDeleteWatch this. The server asked them how they want to charge it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems true that the French and Rhinos only travel abroad in groups.
ReplyDelete"Is it Restaurant Week already?"
ReplyDelete"Of course there's not a single black rhino in this cartoon."
ReplyDelete"I hear they're lousy tippers."
ReplyDelete"Eugène Ionesco used to come in here all of the time."
ReplyDelete"Zagat's says that this is where all of the odd-toed ungulates eat."
ReplyDeleteThis must be the new political "Rhino" party (short-tempered). drmrs 3/25/2014
ReplyDelete"To Rhine-known self be true. That has to be good enough to win something on the Anti-cap? Right?"
ReplyDeleteI'm horny
ReplyDelete"Hey look, I'm Abe the Asshole. I have a great idea. Let's emancipate the F'ing Rhinos"
ReplyDelete"That's right, rhinos are pachyderms, so they're taking advantage of Pachy Hour."
ReplyDelete"Come down on one of them so we'll have a fucking place to sit."
ReplyDelete"It looks like the 'Teapartiers' have now gone public, masquerading as an endangered feces ... er ... species!"
ReplyDeleteUntil they get opposable thumbs, the coffee's just gonna sit there.
ReplyDeleteIt's Wall to Wall ... Wall!"
ReplyDeletelooks like that rhino virus is spreading
ReplyDelete"It's like "McCarthyism", no I guess it IS McCarthyism, because once you start making lists you will end up with ... Pole Pot, Nazis, NSA or the Rhino list.”
ReplyDelete"I gotta hand it them. For huge beasts they have great posture."
ReplyDelete"QUICK ... Table #8 is getting ready to def vacate!"
ReplyDelete"I told ya we shoulda gone to The Pig Sty across the street."
ReplyDeleteI guess they heard this is the place where single hippos hang out.
ReplyDelete"Cripes, Annie, I told ya we'd be in the horn section. Do you hear anything I say?"
ReplyDelete"Funny thing. When I came in here yesterday -- not one rhino. Go figure."
ReplyDelete"They use the big horn to blow the chauffeur!"
ReplyDelete"I love that this place explores the themes of conformity, culture, mass movements, philosophy and morality, but a goddamn latte shouldn't cost $6.35."
ReplyDeleteRhino? More like Homo
ReplyDelete"It looks like one of them flash mobs."
ReplyDelete"Ordering poached eggs was a bit insensitive."
ReplyDelete"Oh, so we're not going to talk about the elephant in the room."
ReplyDelete"Careful Emma! They're highly territorial and easily provoked."
ReplyDelete"Did you just fart?"
ReplyDeleteAll right, we can go back to the cafe with the black people in it.
ReplyDeleteLooks like the entire horn section of the NY Philharmonic beat us here.
ReplyDelete"Honestly. I can't believe they all missed that the name of this place is The Chinese Rhino Holocaust Cafe and they're all going to be killed for their horns."
ReplyDelete"It's 'Rhino Hashanah', the 'Ungulate New Year'!"
ReplyDelete"And you're still not the best looking female in the place."
ReplyDelete"This better be an eats, shoots and leaves joke."
ReplyDelete"Oh...it's pronounced rhinoceri? Well excuuuuuse me! I shoulda married that slut Karen."
ReplyDelete"It's not Thanksgiving, but I see horn a'plenty"
ReplyDelete"That reminds me, Arlene. Have you scheduled your nose job yet?"
ReplyDelete"No one is wearing a collar! I think we've wandered into a 'Stray' bar!"
ReplyDelete