Sunday, March 16, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #420













WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"It doesn't matter what the final score is. I decide who wins."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The opposite of funny but highly insightful. In 2000, the Supreme Court effectively handed the presidency of the United States to a candidate who received exactly 543,895  fewer votes than his opponent. And, no, I have not gotten over it.)

SECOND PLACE
I think the McEnroe v. World ruling was overkill for this sport.--gfwrite (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A commentary on the bad-sport former tennis pro John McEnroe. He proved that a major asshole can still be highly successful. Other examples abound. [See First Place comment.])

THIRD PLACE
"Scalia, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you ruling on this one?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice to see someone has not forgotten our cherished classic Anti-Caps. This works because Antonin Scalia is indeed a crazy bastard. Quick reminder: It has long been a pet peeve of mine when Anti-Cappers insert “heck” or “hell” into this one. For the record the original is: “Fusilli you crazy bastard. How are you?")

HONORABLE MENTIONS

This comment has been removed by the author.--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It would appear that legendary Anti-Capper Johnny B was ready to stage a comeback, but decided “Why bother?” Nice to see your name the line up even if it was scratched, J.B. )

Nice striptease, JohnnyB.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Cute. But this does not work because the subject matter in question is not a comic strip. So this is an appropriate tribute that hinges on an inappropriate pun. [See what your missing Johnny?] )

"The hours here are supreme."--al in la (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes, I was the one who entered this. I figured it was a low impact way of demonstrating my interest.)
"Arthur Dexter Bradley’s still in the game, but it ain't him to blame. He's only a pawn. Everybody said they'd stand behind him when the game got rough. Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land where justice is a game."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A mangled nod to Bob that borrows from three songs. [Do you really need me to name them?] The effort is appreciated, such as it is. My favorite Dylan quote may be this: “Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain.”)










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29 comments:

  1. al in laMarch 16, 2014 at 11:03 PM

    "The hours here are supreme."

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 17, 2014 at 4:46 AM

    Who am I to judge?

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 17, 2014 at 4:47 AM

    Which one's Wade?

    ReplyDelete
  4. boneguyMarch 17, 2014 at 6:42 AM

    Was the last thing heard from that airliner a ping or a pong?

    ReplyDelete
  5. boneguyMarch 17, 2014 at 6:43 AM

    In this economy, you can get the interns to do anything.

    ReplyDelete
  6. boneguyMarch 17, 2014 at 6:52 AM

    Best three out of five. The loser gets the chair.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LRMarch 17, 2014 at 7:48 AM

    "I don't know, I keep going back-and-forth on this one."

    "Are you kidding? This is a perfect case to hand down to a lower court."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dr SumguyMarch 17, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    "It's Lady Gaga ... She used to be a man ... Basically it's ping pong without balls!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. NJ-to-TXMarch 17, 2014 at 6:38 PM

    "Pong hits? Aren't we ruling on Bong Hits 4 Jesus?"

    ReplyDelete
  10. reid savidMarch 18, 2014 at 6:56 PM

    "I miss the foosball table."

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dr SumguyMarch 18, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    "It's Renee Richards ... Her latest book is titled ... Table Tennis Without Balls!"

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMarch 19, 2014 at 8:51 AM

    What say we knock off and check out the new girl at
    "The Dirty Dancer"    ?

    ReplyDelete
  13. jamesMarch 19, 2014 at 6:16 PM

    Searchers for Malaysia Air Flight 370 are focusing on a couple of pings from the Supreme Court Building.

    ReplyDelete
  14. NJ-to-TXMarch 20, 2014 at 8:26 AM

    "They only come up to your knees."

    ReplyDelete
  15. SatireguyMarch 20, 2014 at 12:53 PM

    "I believe these are the opening arguments for Ping v. Pong."

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMarch 21, 2014 at 4:13 AM

    "It doesn't matter what the final score is. I decide who wins."

    ReplyDelete
  17. boneguyMarch 21, 2014 at 12:16 PM

    "Until we have an Asian Supreme Court Justice, this will have to do."

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dr SumguyMarch 21, 2014 at 9:51 PM

    "The score? ... Jane Roe 7, Henry Wade 2!"

    ReplyDelete
  19. NJ-to-TXMarch 22, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    "Arthur Dexter Bradley’s still in the game, but it ain't him to blame. He's only a pawn. Everybody said they'd stand behind him when the game got rough. Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land where justice is a game."

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dr SumguyMarch 22, 2014 at 9:38 AM

    "Last time she won, she jumped over the net, fractured her pelvis, and had to be aborted!"

    ReplyDelete
  21. gfwriteMarch 23, 2014 at 3:23 PM

    I think the McEnroe v. World ruling was overkill for this sport.

    ReplyDelete
  22. gfwriteMarch 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    I get my fill of this and an hour later I want more.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dr SumguyMarch 23, 2014 at 9:58 PM

    "His paddle has been indicted for racketeering!"

    ReplyDelete
  24. JohnnyBMarch 24, 2014 at 5:58 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousMarch 24, 2014 at 6:35 AM

    Nice striptease, JohnnyB.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousMarch 24, 2014 at 10:52 AM

    "Hey, is that Rhino café open yet?"

    ReplyDelete
  27. UnknownMarch 25, 2014 at 2:29 PM

    "Five grand says the courtroom artist has us all paying attention to the case before us, or whatever."

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMarch 28, 2014 at 9:25 AM

    Table Tennis. Gay on any court

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousMarch 29, 2014 at 4:14 AM

    I think the fact that caption contest 420 contains the supreme court preempts a favorable ruling.

    ReplyDelete