WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
The
arrows here are obscene.--Levon
Delight
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Seldom do classic caps take the top spot in this
thing of ours – but seldom are they this good. It sounds right and
it's remarkably appropriate for the image. Extra credit: Levon
Delight sounds like the stage name for a porn star. Nicely done!)
SECOND
PLACE
Meanwhile,
in Utah....--Austin in PA (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This would appear
to be a thinly veiled reference to polygamy which was once popular in
Utah. The point is: I got it.)
THIRD
PLACE
"Stupid
Cupid."--Kathy
H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This links to an old Connie Francis song and
offers further proof that Kathy searches relentlessly for something
to link to. Her efforts should be rewarded and encouraged.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"Last
thing I remembered ... I hit CTRL + arrow ... Fucking computer!"--
Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: When
you think about it, the true humor value here comes from the
“Fucking computer” part. You know...because when you hit the
wrong key combo you get fucked. We've all been there.)
"I
decided to start judging again before they put another one in
me."
--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT:
It is the self-inflicted arrows that hurt the most–any neurotic
will tell you that.)
"He
only showed up to semi-judge a contest so that he could make a
comment about Dylan's Super Bowl ad. Oh, and he shot me."--NJ-to-TX
(JUDGE'S
COMMENT:
Allow me to evoke some lyrics from the 1997 Dylan masterpiece “Cold
Irons Bound”:
The
walls of pride are high and wide
Can’t
see over to the other side
It’s
such a sad thing to see beauty decay
It’s
sadder still to feel your heart torn away.)
"I shopped at Target."
ReplyDelete"I decided to start judging again before they put another one in me."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
This happens every time I tell him no more Sponge Bob.
ReplyDelete"Ah, the kid's just mad because I'm wearing an Arrow® shirt."
ReplyDeleteHe's pissed he wasn't in that stupid VW commercial- why take it out on me?"
ReplyDelete"I think I'm bleeding internally."
ReplyDelete"So tell me, Doc. 'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them? I mean. I gotta know."
ReplyDelete"I don't know what's bothering him- time and time again, I'm the one who gets the shaft."
ReplyDelete"It's a poor man's biathlon: 1) Go to a shrink's office; 2) Shoot some arrows into a guy."
ReplyDelete"Stupid Cupid."
ReplyDeleteWe're getting to the point where he might be able to get him
ReplyDeletethe state executioner job.
"I only told him I prefer find-a-slut.com and he went freaking nuts."
ReplyDelete"Venus envy."
ReplyDelete"...not to mention the tiny green men that keep abducting me."
ReplyDelete(in cartoons the person on the left always speaks first (except in Isreal) ... Did the chest pain start before or after your purchase of the 'Pierce-Arrow'?
ReplyDeleteI don't have anything against him Doc, but I'm just not attracted to gay dating service Cupid hitmen.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, in Utah....
ReplyDelete"He only showed up to semi-judge a contest so that he could make a comment about Dylan's Super Bowl ad. Oh, and he shot me."
ReplyDeleteThe arrows here are obscene.
ReplyDeleteCan you not see the arrows? It's NOT my fucking imagination. I'm suing the paramedics who brought me here.
ReplyDelete"No matter how hard he tries, nothing can change the fact that his first shot made me fall madly in love with Boris,the neighbour's pet pig."
ReplyDelete"Like I always say, 'Arrows by any other name...'"
ReplyDelete"I agree. Sometimes an arrow is just an arrow."
ReplyDelete"How 'bout that Woody Allen mess, huh?"
ReplyDelete"Would you make love to Kristie Alley?"
ReplyDelete"Oh Sorry. Am I playing footsie with you? Ten hate-arrows from a midget injun can cloud a man's judgement."
ReplyDelete"How do I explain to the little fucker that I'm gay?"
ReplyDelete"First I lose my balls in Nam and now this!"
ReplyDelete"This holistic approach to my erectile dysfunction has me seeing a shrink."
ReplyDelete"Im OK Doc ... See if you can help the little 'Bowcunter'!"
ReplyDelete"I want to change this delusion to William Tell. At least I'd save on shirts."
ReplyDelete"...and you don't want to know where he stuck the bow."
ReplyDeleteYou needed 8 years of post graduate training to realize that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday?
ReplyDelete"I wouldn't change his poopy diaper."
ReplyDelete"Peeing on her just makes me really uncomfortable."
ReplyDeleteBut if the arrow is straight and the point is slick
ReplyDeleteIt can pierce through dust no matter how thick
So I'll make my stand and remain as I am
And bid farewell and not give a damn
"See? Cupid's a douche"
ReplyDelete"The little prick couldn't take 'yes' for an answer."
ReplyDelete"It's me, not him."
ReplyDelete