NOTE: While the staff at the NYer take a well deserved break from enlightening and entertaining their target demographic of upscale white folks, you are invited to cough up your best Anti-Cap for this image. Extra credit for anything Dylan-related.
WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"I
wondered if you wanted to make any changes to your will, since any
day now, any day now, you shall be deceased."--Shelly
[JUDGE'S
COMMENT: First, a hat tip to all those who reached deep to find Dylan
references for this Bonus Caption Contest. Some where predictable,
some obscure. All where appreciated. This twists the meaning of the
classic Dylan song “I Shall Be Released,” which was also the last
song from the classic concert film “The Last Waltz.” Also
sometimes sung by mean-spirited fans to taunt an under-performing
pro-athlete. ]
SECOND
PLACE
"No,
I specifically said I wanted to meet you in the 'painted' desert not
'miniature' dessert."--cta
[JUDGE'S COMMENT: From the epic and little-known song “Brownsville
Girl.” I believe not even Dylan knows all the word to this one.
Get s the nod for obscurity of reference. ]
THIRD
PLACE
xcuse
me, sir, but I'm sorry to inform you that the pump don't work because
the vandals took the handles."--Kathy H [JUDGE'S
COMMENT: They also took the “E” from “Excuse me.” Song
includes the classic Dylan quip: “If you don't wanna be a bum, you
better chew gum.” Words to live by.]
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"I
just can't get 'Every Grain of Sand' out of my head."--pg13
[JUDGE'S COMMENT: Give the poignant lyrics of this incredible song, I
too have troble getting it out of my head. SAMPLE:
I
have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night/
In
the violence of a summer’s dream, in the chill of a wintery light/
In
the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space/
In
the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face]
"Well,
I hope you now have a better appreciation of all the tired horses in
the sun!"--Tim H [JUDGE'S
COMMENT: How am I supposed to get any riding done? Only Dylan song in
which Dylan doesn't sign. A very obscure reference, and a very weird
song, indeed.]
"Name's
Abram Zimmerman and I'm Dylan-related."--Anonymouse
[JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very
impressive. It was Abe and Betty who beget Bobby. The rest is
history.]
"Isn't
it about time you got over the whole acoustic vs. electric
thing?"--pg13 [JUDGE'S
COMMENT: It the folky fans who had trouble getting over it.]
You
ain't a goin' no where - This ain't Gunga Din.--NJ-to-TX
[JUDGE'S COMMENT: The last time I
saw Dylan this is the song he opened with. I had it on the third
note—but that's just me.]
"I
just said, 'Good luck.'"--Tim H [JUDGE'S
COMMENT: What young Dylan said to Columbus when he saw him headed to
the U.S.]
"Mr Thomas? Mr. Dylan Thomas? I'm Irv Finkelstein from Simon & Schuster. Just wanted to see how you're coming with that new book."
ReplyDelete"I told mom, 'Don't worry about Frankie—he's probably lying in the sand somewhwere soaking up the sun.'"
ReplyDeleteStill scrubbing the floor, I see. How's that head full of ideas
ReplyDeleteThat were drivin' you insane?
My name is Henderson. I'm Maggie's attorney. We need to talk.
"I just said, 'Good luck.'"
ReplyDelete"Excuse me, sir, but I'm sorry to inform you that the pump don't work because the vandals took the handles."
ReplyDelete"No, I specifically said I wanted to meet you in the 'painted' desert not 'miniature' dessert."
ReplyDeleteCrud, spelling. I meant "desert".
ReplyDelete"Okay. You've walked and you've crawled on six crooked highways. So?"
ReplyDeleteHuntington's chorea AND pre-morbid dehydration? Let me get back to Mr. Dylan and give him the green light to rob you blind.
ReplyDelete"Sorry, buddy, but somebody on America's Got Talent beat you to Make You Feel My Love."
ReplyDelete"I'm gonna walk across the desert, 'til I'm in my right mind."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"Welcome to Hell, Mr. Klebold"
ReplyDelete"I wondered if you wanted to make any changes to your will, since any day now, any day now, you shall be deceased."
ReplyDeleteMy advice? Next time trying sneaking in through Canada.
ReplyDelete"Get off my property."
ReplyDelete"I'll get you the water you deserve."
ReplyDelete"I said Marine pushups."
ReplyDelete"All my clients walk."
ReplyDelete"I'm from the Monty Dylan Corporation and I've come to reclaim your liver!"
ReplyDelete"Dylan, I was talking to Bren' and Kelly, and Donna, and they all said you're a lousy hump. Not half as good as me or David. See you at the Peach Pit as you're being shit out of a pigeon. Mwaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!"
ReplyDelete"Well, Mr. Rude, I'd thank you not to stick your tongue out at me!"
ReplyDelete"Dude! Use your arms and legs it won’t ruin you."
ReplyDelete"I see your getting your just deserts!"
ReplyDelete"Oh, really? Well, how do you think I feel with all these cacti giving me the finger?!"
ReplyDelete"When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose--not even your shoes."
ReplyDeleteI hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
ReplyDeleteYou're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record. ...oh shit wrong pretentious troubadour .
"What do you charge for a spit-shine?"
ReplyDelete"Mr. Shabtai Zisl ben Avraham, my name is David Geffen. I'm with Asylum Records. And I have just one question for you: What will it take for you and your vision to jump ship from Columbia and join me on my journey?"
ReplyDelete"The good news: 'It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall' The bad news: That was written 50 years ago -- as a metaphor."
ReplyDelete"Well, I hope you now have a better appreciation of all the tired horses in the sun!"
ReplyDelete"I'm from the government and I'm here to help. Do you have a gun?"
ReplyDelete"Mr. Zimmerman, I presume?"
ReplyDelete"Mom wants to know when you're going to get baptized and pick up her dry cleaning."
ReplyDelete"Name's Abram Zimmerman and I'm Dylan-related."
ReplyDelete"Would you be interested in a 'Culligan Reverse Osmosis System'?"
ReplyDelete"Your children have retained me to inform you that they wish you a Happy Father's Day."
ReplyDelete"Once you have played "The Strip" you never leave."
ReplyDeleteYou ain't a goin' no where - This ain't Gunga Din.
ReplyDelete"I just can't get 'Every Grain of Sand' out of my head."
ReplyDelete"Hey, Albert. I understand you've been sniffing drain pipes again."
ReplyDelete"Isn't it about time you got over the whole acoustic vs. electric thing?"
ReplyDelete"Suck it, Desert Hobo!"
ReplyDeleteYou are just a downward facing dog away from becoming a bike rack for my midlife crisis Harley. So duck it Desert Hobo!
ReplyDelete"Hi, I'm Mr. Jones and I can see there's something happening here but I'm not exactly sure what it is."
ReplyDelete"I should let you know it's buy one, get one free at the Men's Wearhouse."
ReplyDelete"You don't have to be one to wear one."
ReplyDeleteThis is cool!
ReplyDelete