BONUS Anti-Cap Contest

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"My wife says I'm a boar."--cta (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This wins because it sucks on several levels. His wife knew he was a pig when she married him, but she had no idea he was such a BORE. Now he is complaining about it, but cta screwed the pooch by using the wrong word. In this arena, that type of incompetence is rewarded and encouraged. Every one's cool with that, right?)

SECOND PLACE

"I'm a short stocky slow-witted bald bore!"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: With bad table manners, no doubt. Slightly better but given that short stocky slow-witted bald bores essentially rule the world, one wonders why he is complaining about it.)

THIRD PLACE

“I Haven't seen so many bad links since Jimmy Dean offered Pork Tartare Sausages ."--Anonymouse's Quality Control Agent (Links Division) (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is bogus. We have no quality control here at Anti-Cap HQ. On that much we can all agree.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

"See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly???
I'm crying."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The piece of shit who killed John Lennon was in the news recently. Made me cringe. You know, Dylan has a tribute song to John on his most recent album, Tempest. It's called “Roll on, John.” A sample: “Another day in your life until your journey’s end. Shine your light, move it on, you burn so bright, roll on John.” Amen and RIP, brother.)

"I object to my appearance in a real-life New Yorker cartoon! My creation in Seinfeldwas intended as a commentary on how unfunny those cartoons are and, quite frankly, this blatant act of co-optation reeks of desperation on the part of a magazine blind to its own irrelevance! Also, my wife is a slut!"--George Martin Fell Brown (JUDGE'S COMMENT: An obvious choice given the history of this cartoon. Yes, the complaining pig was used as a bonus Anti-Cap back in July of last year. And yes this is the cap that won. So? Here's what I said about it at the time: The "My-wife-is-a-slut" part made it a slam-dunk. Still, I disagree with GMFB's harsh assessment. In my view the NYer's decision to run it was a bold and long over-due move that hints at the magazine's playfully wit and its willingness to needle its core demographic [represented here by the pig, of course]. Either that or someone missed a deadline. It could be this  had been languishing for years in a file labeled  "Emergency Complaining Pig Cartoon." Whatever brought it out of mothballs is not the issue. It's a powerful image that offers irony and ambiguity. Maybe it is poking fun at pampered people who still find reasons to complain. Perhaps it suggests that those who complain are usually losers.  Caption-wise the  real irony is that the pig is complaining that something reeks.)

"Alright, I'll say it: 'Deja Moo!'! 

[Thanks, Dr Sumguy.]--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: What are you thanking Dr Sumguy for? )

"He judged 368 a week early and left 357 to 360 just sitting there!"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So you admit it hurts when I ignore you. And you further admit you are best represented by swine. Noted.)

Apparently al got that crystal meth shipment I sent him.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If I have taught you anything it should be this: Never confuse lazy with preoccupied or commitment with obligation or, for that matter, funny with not-funny. )

I certainly am aware that bipolar disorder causes mood swings of alternating extreme lassitude and wild bursts of superhuman productivity. Why, do you know al, too?--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure, take your cheap shots. If I had the time I would look up what the fuck “lassitude” means. I'm sure it's nothing good.)

There's a penis and a topless chick on the previous post. And they call ME a pig.--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's not a penis, it's a dick, Johnny. )