"I can't believe it . . . our scene in bed gets trumped by one with a tiny car . . . At least we were having sex which is intrinsically of more prurient interest!"
"In case you are wondering, my enthusiasm has not dimmed. But the appearing lack of it and long stretches between the satisfying climaxes of a contest well-judged has driven away most of the real anti-cappers like you."
Get the hell out of our house, creepy Republican neighbor dude!
ReplyDeleteThe moment his pole numbers started dropping, I knew he was going to lose the erection.
ReplyDeleteUm, how do I put this? Nate Silver is no longer gay.
ReplyDelete"Because his .26 thru .49 is larger than yours, Harry."
ReplyDeleteDo you mind? I'm almost through connecting the dots of my Patraeus biography.
ReplyDelete"It's the math I do as a Republican to make myself feel better."
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but a woman has her needs. Right now, mine happens to be a No. 2 pencil.
ReplyDeleteYOu knew I was a number cruncher when you married me.
ReplyDeleteI brought a couple of digits. Do you mind?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFirst I did Hidden Pictures, then Find the Differences and now Connect the Dots. I'm just giving you the Highlights, Goofus.
ReplyDelete"The threesomes are great, but you singing `la la la la' while you're working the pencil kills the mood."
ReplyDelete"I'm not the first married woman he's been with. If you want a piece of him, take a number."
ReplyDelete"Surprise; you have dot-orrhea."
ReplyDelete*finishes*
ReplyDelete"Oh. It's a guy."
"He's a 'Premature Pixelator'!"
ReplyDelete"I just hope you're the 'House Dick' ... I need you right about now!"
ReplyDelete"I just 'Blew him Off' ... If you know what I mean!"
ReplyDeleteHe has connections with the Department Of Transportation.
ReplyDelete"When the moon hits your eye
ReplyDeleteLike a big pizza pie
Dots amore!"
Thank goodness you're back .
ReplyDeleteI thought you left without a trace!
"I need a few minutes to finish him off."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"Draw your own conclusions."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"He thinks life begins at connection."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"Oh, please, spare me that, 'Dot, how could you?' bull shit. We haven't had any type of meaningful connection in years -- have we, Drew?"
ReplyDelete"If you unskew the numbers, I've got Karl Rove here with me."
ReplyDeleteIs your schedule still full or can I pencil Frank in?
ReplyDeleteHe says every time he connects the dots he gets a Hummer.
ReplyDelete"I can't erase what happened"
ReplyDelete"What!? A woman can't have a hobby?"
ReplyDelete"Boy, I really did a number on him."
ReplyDelete"He's a 'Koala Man' ... He eats bush and leaves!"
ReplyDelete"Just a minute, John; as you can see, I'm not finished."
ReplyDelete"How is this different from your fucking bananagrams?"
ReplyDelete"He's Frank. Well, that's his pen name."
ReplyDelete"With you, it was over 1, 2, 3."
ReplyDelete"He's a 'Figment of my Invagination'!"
ReplyDelete"What's .49 Up, five letters, ending in 's'?"
ReplyDelete"I call it 'Numerology Sex' ... LXVIIII was awesome!" ... Or was it IXXXC?"
ReplyDelete"So? Duk you!"
ReplyDelete“I wish I knew how to quit you, Ennis.” ---Jack Twist
ReplyDelete"Relax. It's Carol's Etch A Sex and she wants the fucker back in an hour."
ReplyDelete"After Viagra his 'Number Came Up'!"
ReplyDeleteHi, honey . . . would you mind filling in for me?"
ReplyDelete---blw
“Dot to dot/belly to belly/don’t give a damn/done it already . . .”
ReplyDelete---Harry Belafonte
"So you finally connect the...what's that phrase? It means put the clues together? Anyway, you figured it out."
ReplyDelete1 4 the $, 2 4 the 9's, 10 big 1's ... Hey ... He's Janet Evanovich in drag!
ReplyDelete"Sure it's retro . . . but dot matrix still works for me."
ReplyDelete---left coast wayne
"He's from Connecticut. Do I have to spell it out for you?"
ReplyDelete"And stop calling me 'Dot'! ... Based on the shedding of my uterine lining I've changed it to ... 'Period'!"
ReplyDelete"I'm cheating on you."
ReplyDelete"His name is 'Dow Jones' and I will say he's about average!"
ReplyDeleteThere weren't any day laborers left at Home Depot so I got one at Toys 'R Us.
ReplyDelete"I found someone to fill in for you."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
al in la, meet 1 in 90 04 5
ReplyDeleteHe says I complete him
ReplyDelete"He's a puzzle, wrapped in a mystery, inside my enigma."
ReplyDelete"He seemed to connect to the vibrator I bought."
ReplyDelete"Meet Max Klein ... My 'Paint by Numbers' lover!"
ReplyDelete"I complete him."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
“Well, you ‘promised that you’d be right there with me when I paint my masterpiece’.”
ReplyDelete---left coast wayne
"I can't be with you, Roger. I can only be with a man I can form any number of ways, to my own liking. He's number one in my heart."
ReplyDelete"Don't you dare stand there in judgment. After all, al in la doesn't."
ReplyDelete---blw
I thought you said this guy was connected.
ReplyDelete"Oh, it's you, al . . . your extended absence allowed me to draw the wrong conclusion . . . well, I'm almost done here."
ReplyDelete---blw
I was gonna rock your world, but I forgot my Dixon-Ticonderoga.
ReplyDelete"Well, what did you expect, Al? I had no idea if you were ever coming back!"
ReplyDelete"Jesus Christ, al . . . you've been standing in that doorway for six weeks. Do something, say something . . . I can't take you just standing there!"
ReplyDelete---blw
"I can't believe it . . . our scene in bed gets trumped by one with a tiny car . . . At least we were having sex which is intrinsically of more prurient interest!"
ReplyDelete---first come, (not) first served
"Just like Al and Frankie Valley, I'm workin' my way back to you babe. And the happiness that died."
ReplyDeleteValley? I must have meant Rudy Valley.
ReplyDelete"In case you are wondering, my enthusiasm has not dimmed. But the appearing lack of it and long stretches between the satisfying climaxes of a contest well-judged has driven away most of the real anti-cappers like you."
ReplyDelete"So, is this it, al? I'll never complete him now? Oh, the humanity . . ."
ReplyDelete---left coast wayne
bump
ReplyDelete