WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
FIRST PLACE
"Sub-lease,
sub-leash. What's the difference?" Anonymouse-- (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Living
and working in Los Angeles most my adult life I didn’t need to read
‘50 Shades of Gray’ to be informed or enlighted in the comings
and goings (yes the pun was intended) of the alphabet soup of kinky
recreation including S&M, S&D, BDS&M, or any other mix.
It’s just “the scene” as those of us in the know, know. And
yes, living so close to Hollywood some of my best friends are grips
or devients or both. Having said that when I say Al can't do this
because he is “tied up” right now I'll let you imagine what you
will.)
SECOND
PLACE
"I
assume you're the one who taught him how to do auto-erotic scooties."
--Michael
Hutchens (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT:
In
keeping with our [okay MY] kinky sex theme…Actor
David Carradine was found dead hanged in a closet of his Bangkok
hotel with a cord wrapped around his neck and genitals (talk about
over kill – and the fact that he was “in the closet” was not
lost on anyone). Local police concluded death was not a suicide
but an accident resulting from a “dangerous sex practices.”[Now
that's some first rate police work!]
Conclusion: There is no more snatch or
pebbles eh, Grasshopper?)
THIRD
PLACE
"Release
the hound." Boneguy
--
(MRS. al in la's
COMMENT:
Excellent if you
imagine it said in your best Mr. Burns' voice.)
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"You
can judge a Contest or two, but you're not taking over anything
important." --Shelly (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: I’m
back. Deal with it!(And technically this is my 3rd
time as guest judge) And
this IS very
important, right after playing with the granddaughter, laundry,
dusting…)
“My
doggy seems to have eaten your doggy. Let me make it up to you by
eating your pussy.” --Angus Podgorny (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Only
one “pussy” joke? I assumed there would be more. Your family will
be so proud for you when you read this to them at the Thanksgiving
table.)
“I'll
explain it once more: we yank the ends and pop his head off. If it
just drops, it's an out, if it rolls forward, that's a single, a hop
is a double ... girls never understand baseball.” JohnnyB--(MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Apparently
neither do you....Oh, sorry, I'm told these are cat baseball rules.
Honable mention!)
“So
it's agreed. If Obama wins he gets a nice bowl of kibble. If Romney
wins he roams the streets attacking little children for food.”
--Boneguy-MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Woo
Whoo! Gravy Train for everyone. I love government gifts! Remember
when the Government
Cheese program? Processed cheese was provided to welfare and food
stamp recipients in the 1960s through the early 1990s. Talk about
“stick to your ribs” food, or arteries as it has been revealed.
Now the same folks who took advantage of this Velveta program need
Obamacare to unclog their arteries they helped fuck up.)
“Ad
for datecoyoteugly.com” Dr Sumguy-- (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT:
As
a woman I have always found this reference/title/saying movie etc.
offensive....as a
temporary
anti cap judge, it made me laugh. It's still Al's blog afterall.)
"If
he starts humping your leg ... Fake an orgasm!" Dr Sumguy--
(MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: As
if women
need some “doctor” to clue them in on this. Or so I’ve been
told.)
"Let's
go home and watch '2 girls, 1 cup.'" NJ-to-TX--(MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Even
the thought of that "video" makes me gag. Just like the
ending of John Waters’ 1972 movie Pink Flamingos......excuses me I
have to step away.........)
“Cesar
Millan suggests that a firm hand and tough love lead to complete
obedience. The same for dogs, too.” --Boneguy (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: I
adore Cesar and believe in his way of training dogs. Also reminds me
of the 1962 Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin movie “If a Man Answers.”
They are newlyweds and on their wedding day the bride’s mother
gives her a book on dog training/obedience in lieu of the “wedding
night speech.” Believing this will aid her in achieving a happy and
perfect marriage. Remember ladies: Give the lots of praise but you
are the pack leader!)
“If
it's a husband and wife who have neglected the dog for over a month,
and then decided to walk it at the same time, it's a perfect metaphor
for the Anti-Cap”. Anonymous--
(MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: And imagine the dog taking a dump on a copy of
the New Yorker and you've nailed it,
homeboy!)
“He's
a Blue Dog Democrat. That's why we have to keep him on two leashes." --Tim H (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: "It's
a dog eat dog world. I'm going to miss Fido II.)
Greenie
Stik-M-Caps--(MRS.
al in la's COMMENT:
Bill
Murray quote...”it's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearin Milk Bone
underwear.” Not that this is such a great cap or even one that is
really deserving of an HM but I love this quote. Extra Cap points if
you can name the movie it’s from.)
"I
think we're going to sell a shitload of these things. Speaking of,
what did you do with the bag?" NJ-toTX-- (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Isn't
that the way? Like Thanksgiving, every year my mom always forgot the
cranberry sauce. I think it was the "shitload" reference
that brought back that memory.)
“Let's
call him alinla 'cause he's so totally lame.” Anonymous-- (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT:
Hey, no one picks on my little brother but me. In this case its
husband-- but you get the point? And he's not lame; it’s just old
hockey injuries. Besides my baby brother outweighs me and could kick
my ass six ways to Sunday. And seeing I didn't pick either of his two
captions for even an HM I'm sure he's going to go cryin to Mom that
I’m picking on him.)
"I’ll
go last, then time will tell who fell and who’s been left behind,
when you go your way and I go mine." Bobby D-- (MRS.
al in la's COMMENT: Dylan
101:
I
knew at once this was a Dylan line even without the name “hint.”
It was almost an insult! And if Al was judging he wouldn’t have
even given it an HM. But I was so proud that I knew it I just wanted
to impress Al!)
"You can judge a Contest or two, but you're not taking over anything important."
ReplyDeleteMan, this dog sucks at jumping rope.
ReplyDelete"Okay, on three, and don't let him down till he's dead."
ReplyDeleteI'll explain it once more: we yank the ends and pop his head off. If it just drops, it's an out, if it rolls forward, that's a single, a hop is a double ... girls never understand baseball.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to let her puppies out of your sweater to take a leak.
ReplyDeleteYes, Jennifer, I told them "Marley and Us" would be a stupid sequel. But it's a paycheck, so let's just do it."
ReplyDeleteSince when did leash laws apply to pet fleas?
ReplyDeleteSo it's agreed. If Obama wins he gets a nice bowl of kibble. If Romney wins he roams the streets attacking little children for food.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the honorable mention, sis, You can have your dog back.
ReplyDeleteAd for datecoyoteugly.com
ReplyDelete"Curb your dog ... NO ... You curb YOUR dog!"
ReplyDelete"Her name? ... 'Community Property'!"
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's time I changed divorce lawyers.
ReplyDelete"Do you think it would upset him to know that we have him on a catenary?"
ReplyDelete"Watching Scraps die of thirst was your idea, Nadine. I wanted to go bowling."
ReplyDelete"Hold on tight- we're heading right into Koreatown."
ReplyDelete"His favorite movie ... Quentin Tarantino's ... 'Runaway Dogs'!"
ReplyDelete"On the count of three, pull and lift."
ReplyDelete"Just do what I tell ya. It worked with Timmy, remember?"
ReplyDelete"If he starts humping your leg ... Fake an orgasm!"
ReplyDelete"Did you fart, or was that a nuclear bomb going off behind us"
ReplyDelete"I assume you're the one who taught him how to do auto-erotic scooties."
ReplyDelete"Let's go home and watch '2 girls, 1 cup.'"
ReplyDelete"Ok, so where's the fucking hurricane force winds?"
ReplyDelete"It's a new leash law required in 'Red States', where the restraint passes through both auditory canals!"
ReplyDeleteCesar Millan suggests that a firm hand and tough love lead to complete obedience. The same for dogs, too.
ReplyDelete"Who Let The Dogs Out (Woof Woof Woof Woof), Who Let The Dogs Out (Woof Woof Woof Woof), Who Let The Dogs Smell My Crotch (Woof Woof Woof Woof), Who Let The Dogs Smell My Crotch (Woof Woof Woof Woof) ... He can also do the 'Moonwalk'!"
ReplyDeleteIf it's a husband and wife who have neglected the dog for over a month, and then decided to walk it at the same time, it's a perfect metaphor for the Anti-Cap.
ReplyDelete"Think of your kids. If we strangle Bonkers they'll be turning over in their graves."
ReplyDelete"Your breasts are hanging like two teenagers at a skate park."
ReplyDelete"You head left and I'll head right and that way we can find out who Sparky really loves. Acccording to this Solomon guy."
ReplyDelete"The bow-wowers here are obscene."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"Look, we gotta take him back to Boener and McConnell so they can fuck him for four more years."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"And I thought we adopted a toddler from Taiwan!"
ReplyDelete"It's great that you could walk your pet tick at the same time that I'm walking my dog!"
ReplyDelete"I won't mention your low hanging tits if you don't mention my lack of a chin."
ReplyDeleteAmazon.com introduces it's new 'Dog Ears TV Antenna'.
ReplyDelete"Release the hound."
ReplyDelete"Ready?
ReplyDeleteI had a little puppy
His name was Tiny Tim
I put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim
He drank all the water, he ate a bar of soap
The next thing you know he had a bubble in his throat.
In came the doctor
In came the nurse
In came the lady with the alligator purse
Out went the doctor
Out went the nurse
Out went the lady with the alligator purse"
"Goddammit, Edna, it was my turn to bring the leash and your turn to bring the scooper."
ReplyDelete"Look, I let you share in the judging of the Anti-Cap Contest. But, that's it! Capisce?"
ReplyDelete"Sub-lease, sub-leash. What's the difference?"
ReplyDeleteHound of the Hicksvilles.
ReplyDelete"My eHarmony posting clearly said 'No dogs'."
ReplyDeletei feel like i have a new leash on life
ReplyDeletemy blindness cured my ED and now we re doin it doggy
He's a Blue Dog Democrat. That's why we have to keep him on two leashes."
ReplyDelete"It's a dog eat dog world. I'm going to miss Fido II."
ReplyDelete"Obama promised chains."
ReplyDelete"I think we're going to sell a shitload of these things. Speaking of, what did you do with the bag?"
ReplyDelete"I'd like to get my hands on those puppies."
ReplyDeleteJim Cavanaugh
"It's your turn to be in the middle."
ReplyDelete"Why did we let her read 50 Shades of Brown?"
ReplyDelete"I’ll go last, then time will tell who fell and who’s been left behind, when you go your way and I go mine."
ReplyDeleteLet's call him alinla 'cause he's so totally lame.
ReplyDelete"We have to find a better way to clean out his ears".
ReplyDeletePlease do more articles like this in the future. Very informational and knowledgeable. I will expect more from you in the future. For now i will just bookmark your page and surely I'm gonna come back later to read more. Thank you to the writer!
ReplyDeletewww.imarksweb.org