Bonus Anti-Caption Contest

Suggest a caption for this photo.


WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"Bob Dylan is shown receiving the Medal of Freedom from President Obama."--Associated Press (JUDGE'S COMMENT:  Granted it probably wasn't entered here by the A.P., but the zen-like simplicity of this, the original caption, gives it an edge. And because it is indisputably weird to have Dylan in the White House getting honored like this, it somehow stands as the perfect Anti-Cap as well. Kudos to who ever had the smarts to submit it.)

SECOND PLACE

Tolling for the aching ones whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones and worse
And for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe.
We gaze upon this medal of freedom flashing.--Angus Podgorny (JUDGE'S COMMENT: In addition to a sharp  and highly relevant pun, this cap, perhaps unintentionally, explains why the honor is merited [Bob already has an Oscar, you know]. Dylan has championed the downtrodden including those who are strung-out and hung-up etc.  As evidenced by the stanza selected for this cap, he is a wordsmith of unsurpassed precision. [I mean who rhymes "nursed" with "worse" and "universe?"] Thanks, Augus, for bringing it all back home. )

THIRD PLACE
"Some day, and that day may never come, I would like to call upon you to do me a service in return."--The Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Aside from striking a cord with a GF reference, this also has a point. Barry does want Bob to do something for him: Remind everyone he is cool enough to hang with Dylan. )

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Hey Bob, what say we spark some of the Hindu Kush bud I planted in Michelle's "organic garden"?--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: To which Bob would respond: "It's cool, Mr. O. Brought my own.)  

"And in your own famous words, I'd like to say, 'Numb a dem a non da nime, no anybud id is worth.'"--smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The lazy-man's way to mimic Dylan is to simply slur words in a nasal incoherent twang. The lines perverted here are from "All Along the Watchtower." For the record it actually says. "None of them along the line know what any of it is worth." Kind of like you smuck. I know the words off the top of my head because they are as clear as a bell to me.  So there!)  

(whispers) "This nation will never know it was you who led the SEAL team that took out Bin Laden. But I know...and I will never forget." (discreetly wipes tear)--al in la (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes, this is my cap! I am giving myself this minor bit of recognition because I can. First time I've ever done this so I don't want to hear any shit about it.)

"Newly named Secretary of Coolness, Bob Dylan, is honored at White House ceremony."--Jess (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Next, Barry orders a new national anthem: "Subterranean Homesick Blues.")

"Thanks Ray for all the good times."--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This cap, the first one entered, prompted concern here at Anti-Cap HQ that cappers would fixate on the shades or otherwise just mail it in. Did boneguy's simplistic cap portend a crop of low hanging fruit? Would the well intended effort to provide a bonus cap be rewarded with obvious trite jokes about an aging semi-incoherent rock legend getting props from the black Jimmy Carter? Luckily boneguy's approach was not the norm.)

"Well, Obama did promise a-changin'."--Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Interesting the song referenced specifically notes that it's senators and congressman who should "please heed the call." Dylan's only specific reference to the President is a suggestion that he "must sometimes have to stand naked," but it was penned way before Barry took office, so it's cool.)


Medalinwa--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Jim wisely observes that "metal" is one of many words that can not be spelled without "al." "Interstitial" is another.)

"Well, I don't want to brag, but I'm gonna wring your neck

When all else fails I'll make it a matter of self respect"--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Good use of latter day Dylan. From "Someday Baby," a standout entry on the terrific 2006 album "Modern Times." Worth noting: That same song notes that "Living this way ain't a natural thing to do." )

"I must have gotten bad information. Someone told me you drank yourself to death at the White Horse Tavern."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A clumsy reference to Dylan Thomas, who actually expired at home [granted a few days after going on a bender at the White Horse]. Not a good cap and not accurate either, but it was from the poet that Dylan took his name. At least Little-Miss-Add-a-Link knew that much.)  
"Before you get all proud of yourself and stuff, just remember that last week I gave this same medal to Johnny Puleo and His Harmonica Gang."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is also pretty bad but there may be some redemption. President Obama's predecessor dished out a metal to George Tenet, the CIA douche who lied us into a catastrophic war. The harmonica ensemble is a far less absurd choice. Maybe that's what Kathy is trying to tell us.)
Obama on Dylan: "There is not a bigger giant in the history American music."--Aaron Copland on Obama: "Fuck you, you puts."

-- 

George Gershwin: "That goes for me double."--jim M  (JUDGE'S COMMENT: See below)

Irving Berlin said: "'...not a bigger giant in the history of American music.'? What am I? Chopped liver? I mean, I didn't write God Bless Kenya, y'know?!"--Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: These two caps seem to take exception to Obama's eloquent -- and completely accurate -- assessment of Dylan. Notice that the President did not say Bob is bigger, better or more handsome that Copland, Gerswin or Berlin. He said, in essence, that the stature of even these important composers does not exceed that of Dylan. If you have an issue with that there is no one more ill-informed than you.)  

We would have gotten this to you decades earlier, but alinla was one of the judges--

boneguy 

 JUDGE'S COMMENT: A cheap shot aimed at speeding up the judging process. I won't be cowed. Besides, is there any great urgency to hear me remind you that you are terrible at this?  

Dylan at 101.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: From your mouth to God's ears, brother.)