The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #324

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"Of course I'll get the promotion; the boss knows I'm a climber." --Utellme (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Bosses are more interested in sheep. This would win the real contest if the judges over there had any intellectual honesty. It wins here because Mrs. alinla laughed out loud when I read it to her. Good enough for me. )


SECOND PLACE
It's a blur really. I followed her to school one day. Next thing I know, I'm getting an MBA. And now...now I'm just another douche in a suit." --Where's Mary (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This will hit home for those wondering what ever happened to the little lamb that followed Mary to school that fateful day. Still, it's kind of a disconnect; like Cher's adorable little blond-haired girl growing up to become a heavy set unshaven man. Like this week's winner, this cap makes a comment on the parallels between farm animals and white collar workers. Noted.)

THIRD PLACE
"Well, Faust. The only souls left to take belong to insufferable cretins. I guess that means I win." --David Macharelli (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Not the first time David has entered some kind of smarty- pants cap that advances his cynicism and use of big words. "Faustian," describes those who surrender moral integrity to gain power and success: the proverbial "deal with the devil. As you ponder your future entries this may be something to think about David.)


HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Really, I'm more embarrassed that I wore capris today." --Steve_O (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yeah, that's it: The only thing the guy with the horns sticking out of his head needs is longer pants. Remember what Mark Twain said: Humans are the only animals that blush, or need to.)

"My wife won't give me a blowjob unless there's mint jelly."-- Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Alot cheaper than dinner at Outback Steakhouse, that's all I have to say about that. )"I can't quit ewe."--Ennis (JUDGE'S COMMENT: An obvious pun mingled with a line from the film Brokeback Mountain. The actual line, of course, is "I wish I could quit you." And, yes, that's the way I feel about ewe-all.)

So after I told her, "Ewe, EWE, Ewe, Ewe, EWE!!!- I wanna talk about me.." that's when she said I was "mutton to her..." --Blonde (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The shift from upper case to lower case adds nothing to this cap but the effort is appreciated.)

"Every time I want to have sex, the wife says she's on her period. I'm like, 'Damn, bitch! You gon' bleat to death!'" --Lamb Chop's Play-Along (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This makes the cut not because "bleat" sounds like "bleed," but because the man with horns sticking out of his head can't figure out why he doesn't get laid.)

"I think it was best said on 'New Morning' . . . 'if not for ewe' . . ."--bobby z (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Evokes some of the most flattering love-song-lyrics ever penned [Dylan or otherwise]: "I wouldn't have a clue if not for you...And you know it's true.")

The tragedy is that I'm a Niners fan. --boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The horns do recall the helmet of the Rams, an NFL team that left L.A. and was never heard from again.)

"Shofar, so good." --Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nimble word play with an ethnic slant. Nice one Dex.)

"No, Mr. Baaaaaaand, I expect you to diveaaaaaaast." --Rami Shenkar (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The only variation I could think of was: "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die of embarrassment." )

The hours here are ovine --JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Johnny submits a classic...Johnny gets props. That's just how it works. )

So then Bob says, "You shut up, Rahm, everyone knows your horns are strap ons." --JohnnyB
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: ...and Johnny reaches deeper and comes up with what may be the best classic cap we've seen in a long, long time.)

New York Is My Campus. Fordham Is My School."-- Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This one hit home. Without clicking the link, I knew instantly that it was reference to the NYC's Fordham University. Their sport teams are called the Rams. When I was sports editor of my college newspaper, after a basketball blowout I wrote the headline: "Seahawks Pound Rams." This reminded me of that.)

I'm from LA, originally --JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another reference to the NFL team that fled L.A. for St. Louis. Further proof that Johnny knows his shit.)

"Why does everybody keep calling you Beavis?" --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Reminds us once again that there really was not much difference between Beavis and Butthead.)
It's still only Monday. al got fired. --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Your point being...?)