The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #297

Note: Two guys on a traffic island? A big bustling city? One would anticipate a wave of annal sex and/or gay jokes. There were surprisingly few. (What's that all about? Are you guys growing up or just getting lazy?)
There were also a few non-entry entries submitted in an effort to settle a score or explain something or what ever. This is not something that is encouraged here but, as I noted in my comments, if you post it here, it will be considered a cap.


WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"See. No one even notices same-sex mirages anymore." --Sam Antic (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Social commentary disguised as a just another low brow Anti-Cap. Maybe no one is noticing because it's just two bland guys doing nothing to, with or for each other. If they were sexing it up people would notice. [Which is not the same as wanting to see it.] That's why this is a marginally good cap. When gays settle down and become just as dull, over weight and predictable as breeders, they will be equally uninteresting. Only then will they be permitted to wed each other.)
SECOND PLACE
"After 4 years on the island, we've come to love our palms.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This makes no sense. There is but one palm tree on the tiny island they inhabit. And you mean to tell me in four years not once could they cross the street? This is just some crude masturbation joke that would be scorned by the New Yorker and its readership--yet it finishes here in second place. Nice work as always, Jim.)
THIRD PLACE
Oops--Apu (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The Simpson's Kwik-E-Mart proprietor sends us to a news clip from India that illustrates the dangers of living on a traffic island. This is either mean spirited or well intended.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Excuse me...I was sitting there!"--truncated tetrahedrons (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Reminds me of a previous contest won by a four-year old. If I recall, the cartoon had an annoyed looking woman saying something to a walrus seated in an easy chair. The winning cap: "You're in my seat." If this was also penned by a toddler, it is just as good.)

"Hey! It's my turn to drive."-- Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And so begins a series of caps that suggest that two men are traveling on some type of vehicle that only looks like a tiny island. Further evidence that stoners flourish in an Anti-Cap environment. This cap is the least imaginative, but it has conflict.)
BEST. SKATEBOARD. EVER. --Dood (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The dramatic advances in skateboard technology make this plausible, inevitable even.)
"This "Singaporean Restaurant Shuttle,"really sucks!" --Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: What's with all the quotation marks? And if it's a free shuttle do they really have a right to complain?)
It's the last time I rush to buy a "chlorophyll powered vehicle" without asking a few questions first. --boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This reminds us that alternative energy is like an alternative lifestyle: It involves sacrifice.)
"So some guy gave you ten bucks for your 'WILL WORK FOR FOOD' sign. Don't you know by now, The Man has set you up to fail?" --It Meth B. Luv (JUDGE'S COMMENT: But couldn't he just make another sign for a lot less than $10? This is why bums should not hang out with other bums.) "We're Leaving!"--Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This linked to a story about the Islanders moving from the New York area. Regular readers of this blog [Hi honey!] know of my affinity for Dylan, Star Trek and the Mets. Prominent on the Things I Hate list is the Uniondale Islanders. I grew up a Rangers fan and had my heart broken by the Islanders as they won four consecutive Stanley Cups some years ago. To me, the news that they may be leaving the NYC area is like hearing that an obnoxious neighbor is moving. Good riddance and, yes, Potvin still sucks!)
"Norman is an island." --smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If we assume one of these guys has that name I guess this is fine.)
"Maybe we should add a female singer."--Exit 16W (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This appears to be a reference to The Fabulous Baker Boys, a 1989 film starring Jeff Bridges and Beau Bridges as two brothers whose fading lounge act is revitalized when they add a female singer played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Exit 16W is where you get off the NJ Turnpike to go to the Meadowlands. Anything else you want to know?)

Faster! We're going to miss our New Yorker cartoon audition! --JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yeah, right! Like they have auditions. But I am eager to see Johnny B breakout of the stubborn slump that has haunted him for what seems like forever.)
And for a split second in heaven, Magritte sported dust wood as the palm tree perfectly alligned with the palm tree painted on the side of the truck, supporting the point he tried to make about the human condition before he was dead. --Some Douche (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And that point was... This is good but I can not explain why. What the hell is "dust wood?" by the way.)
Survivor: Long Island Expressway reaches its finale, but the tired franchise remains mired in cliche. --Walt (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It is not mired in conflict-- the show sucks. And there are no palm trees on the L.I.E. ) "I guess it wasn't all that smart to vote Jeff Probst off the island."---blw (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Jeff was the most annoying part. He should be voted off of TV for good.) [This isn't an entry, I'm just linking to the official site, which has a bigger picture. Does anyone think it looks like a dog driving that car? A dog talking on a cell phone?] --Carol Lou Ellen (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sorry Carol, if you post it, it is an entry. Luckily someone else did the commenting for me. Anonymouse said: " Nah, Carol Lou Ellen, that ain't no dog driving a car -- and on a cell phone. No, it's just al in la's chauffeur." For the record I do not have a chauffeur but Mrs. al in la often takes the wheel when I've had a few.)
Oh, they'll listen to us one day, Harry. Just you wait. If the median voter theorem means anything at all, then by God they'll listen.-- Carol Lou Ellen (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Carol bounces back with a smarty-pants cap that includes a pointless link.)
A comment on the previous contest: it appears that instead of the recent cartoon copying the older "evrolet" one, they both copied the same classic movie poster, for "Attack of the 50 ft Woman." So we have two lazy-ass cartoonists instead of one. However, the recent one wins the prize for copying not only the woman but almost the entire scene. --Walt (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This works as an entry if we assume that the two guys on the island are serious Anti-Cappers with nothing else to talk about.)
"Every once in awhile JohnnyB gets a hold of one" -al in la (circa 2009) --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Those times are few and far between, but it is touching to see this type of devotion.)
When al moved his dad to New York they brought along a little piece of Florida.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Thanks Jim. He is doing fine. The real challenge will come when the temperatures in upstate N.Y. drop. One small conflict we had when I stayed with him was the proper setting for the central air conditioning. I wanted some where in the 60's and he wanted it some where near off. )